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This week, Giannis and Sean watch a movie they both can agree is fantastic: Buster Keaton's "The General". Don't worry though, there's still plenty to argue about.
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Hello this is Sean and welcome to fuck your opinion a movie review podcast. Before we get started, please make sure to like follow subscribe, write a review of this podcast wherever you are listening right now and please be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. All those are linked in the description. Enjoy the episode. Hello and welcome to fuck your opinion. A movie review podcast with yours truly Sean and my co host Jani. Oh my yada yadi What the fuck is this? Is this?
Giannis:Joe here? Hi, how you doing?
Sean:Yeah, that's what I expected. That's
Unknown:gotcha. All right. Gotcha.
Sean:Yeah. See, listeners. If you're a first time listener know that Jani will always cut me off. And this time he didn't. So I'm a bit shocked. I'm about I didn't five. You did? Yeah.
Giannis:So they call a Cincinnati? backstep. Yeah, that's whatever. Never trust a person from Cincinnati. If you're from Cincinnati, I automatically don't trust you.
Sean:I really just don't trust anybody, particularly you because you're a liar. Who and you've told me multiple times that you lie all the time. You've lied to my face multiple times. So you know what, no, I don't trust you. I'll stab you right in the back.
Giannis:You know what I do, Shawn, but I'll go to the supermarket and I'll buy a bag of grapes. And then I'll let those grapes spoil in my own fridge or outside usually for like about a week and then I'll go back to the supermarket with a pocket full of those spoiled grapes and then just drop one single spoiled grape and other bags of grapes
Sean:is wrong with you? And I know you do that too. You're the kind of guy who would do that.
Giannis:But you don't get the satisfaction of seeing someone like etha great it's more just it's sowing the seeds of discontent and unhappiness that really that really inspire and overjoyed me. Yeah. Or anyways is sick fuck planting the seeds not sowing them. Sorry. I don't care. So anyways, speaking about anyways,
Sean:so so this is a movie review podcast where joyously every week, we pick a different movie. One week Yani will pick a movie one week, I will make a movie we trade back and forth. But we trade back and forth, and joy and misery and pain. Because Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham sometimes sorrow sometimes sadness. Big.
Giannis:Because sorrow sometimes sadness. That sounds like Oh, wait, now. We are wavering between stay. Sorry.
Sean:Sorry. My name is Roy. Sorry. I was describing your life not not the meaning anyways. You're not wrong. Yeah. But anyways, we pick movies that one of us really likes or the other one hates. For example, last week, I picked unstoppable because I had a double pick
Giannis:where because he was he wanted me to have a seizure. And if you're watching a Tony Scott film and you're paying attention to the editing, that's what you're gonna walk away with. Or, you know, Rive on the phone with
Sean:anyways, so pick that movie, because I had a double pick because every 10th we pick a movie or chooser picks a movie that we both like. Anyways, Jani hated unstoppable but Jani like the general, as do I, because I pick the general, which is the movie we watched this week. Double train feature. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, we did double train. noise. Yeah.
Giannis:Like a trumpet. Oh,
Sean:it was better than your train noise. You did a person here. Hold on, folks. You did a purse on my God.
Giannis:Okay, I couldn't find my train whistle. I'm sorry. I
Sean:don't actually have a train was
Giannis:no. Even somewhere there.
Sean:You didn't even log in my fucking liar. It's
Giannis:insane.
Sean:That's what he does. He lies. He lies prove it. Shit.
Giannis:So anyways, the general Yeah. 1926 Buster Keaton film the general.
Sean:Yeah. So I picked this movie for a couple reasons. A like I alluded to earlier, I wanted to have a back to back double feature that had some kind of relation. So I decided, hey, trains. That's a great idea did that because I used to be a big train guy. Not in the sense that I am fascinated by trains but that I take public transportation all the time, and I often take trains anyways. I also really want to talk about a Buster Keaton Movie film. This is not a felon, your definition of it. What themes are there?
Giannis:What theme? regional pride?
Sean:Oh, fuck you. Okay, so a couple of things. Listen longtime listeners, yani essentially defines films and movies as two different things. yonni quickly to
Giannis:find it for people, films, emotion movies, entertainment. Sure.
Sean:But one big thing is films have themed movies, not so much. So I don't know why this would not be a movie as much as I love it. It's a movie, according to your strict fucking definitions. Anyways, I really love silent film comedies. And I really, really love Buster Keaton. He's easily my favorite. I love Chaplin, too. But Keaton's easily my favorite, and I feel like silent film counties. Really. There's such a big part of what I love about film in general. I mean, I watched the general today, I also watched a couple of his shorts because I have a Keno collection of all the shorts on blu ray. And I'm like, let me just weapon this bad boy. And watch like three or four of them. And he's just so genius. He's so great. This film in particular, I wouldn't say it's his best film. But it's so great and brilliant. And like, I also love action movies. For example, I love Mad Max Fury Road. And this movie really is the template for what action movies become. But also, it still works so well as an action movie. And I don't know we're gonna talk about everything later on. But I just think this thing is brilliant. I love watching it every time. And yeah, yani. Give me a plot summary. Hit me with a plot summary. What do you think?
Giannis:Okay, so I don't I don't have a jokey one here. I'll just give you like a Why don't know, hold on. A second.
Sean:I regret asking you immediately. When a train car full of hope. This is a disaster.
Giannis:What is this Ryan car full of insidious blue blacks of ducks. His beloved train, Buster Keaton's silent hero will go to hell and back to reunite himself with a forementioned much beloved train, and also the woman who was coincidentally kidnapped with it, but she's really not that important. So don't really know don't don't get too attached to her. She's kind of just there for the physical, physical. She's kind of just there for the jokes. So really not much more to it than that, folks.
Sean:There's that's about a boy's love for him and his train. And a woman who gets in the way. Yeah, she's kind of just there. And he's like, Oh, shit, you're here too. Yeah, totally coming to save you. I'm not here if my train you know, like, remember that time
Giannis:he strangled her because she did something wrong to his trade.
Sean:I forgot that. Also. Yeah, blue blacks. Jani Blue Blue backs backs. Oh, okay. I heard blue. Cut
Giannis:that out. I sent blue backs. Okay.
Sean:All right. Yeah, not a terrible Plot summary Jani.
Giannis:I expected far worse. Shawn, why don't you Why don't you give us now that I've given you kind of a jokey synopsis of the film, and how funny was I think it was pretty darn tootin hilarious. But Darren to I wonder if that counts as a train Pon translate really to choo choo. It was a pretty darn choo, choo and funny. Okay, I'm done. I'm sorry. You can go.
Sean:I want to shoot you right out of that joke. That joke was listeners if you watch this movie, and you know, the end, when the train goes out, like the union generals are like, I don't care that bridge is on fire. You're gonna plow that train right through and everything's gonna be good to go. And then the train just immediately as soon as it gets on the bridge collapses and falls into the lake. That's what that joke was just like,
Giannis:while I'm overestimating the structural integrity of a flaming bridge.
Sean:Is that the actual term blue back I've never heard that
Giannis:you know I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure I might have read it somewhere but I also might just be making it up right now on the spot
Sean:I don't know what it is Yankee also call them Yang. Yeah, just call us Yankees. Just like blue back more.
Giannis:I'm gonna call it blue back. Okay, here's,
Sean:here's the thing, folks, I'm from Jersey and I don't have a lot of regional pride. I'm not like fuck the South You know, I'm well Okay, let me let me let me actually change that. I have regional pride for New Jersey specifically, other states can go fuck themselves New York, you're included. But and even when I say have regional prize for jersey, it's complicated. Fried. People in Jersey are like, we can say fuck New Jersey.
Giannis:You can't say fuck New Jersey, but we can say fuck New Jersey. We hate New Jersey but we also love New Jersey. Also only you can say you know what i disagree with the way this pack of feral dogs is running our government but we can't
Sean:you want to criticize the government? Sure, go right ahead.
Giannis:No your government like New Jersey's like local state government. Hey folks, did you know that in 2008, a pack of feral dogs just wandered into the state capitol, New Jersey and took over the place and they've been running the state ever since that's 12 years. And you know, what else is just crazy? employment has gone down by like 10% there ever since the feral dogs took over?
Sean:Okay, so there was one time that Jani was criticizing New Jersey and saying like, Oh, I'm dumb for having gone to schools in New Jersey. And me being a smartass. And a knowledgeable person knew that New Jersey has one of the best school systems in the country immediately shot him the article. A no who shut up Jani dead because he's a moron, because he didn't have nine New Jersey education. Anyways,
Giannis:dumbfuck couldn't read the article, because I wasn't educated in New Jersey. Remember to speak to the microphone? I want it to sound like I was in the distance. You're picking your fucking toenail? I
Sean:don't think that was the reason?
Giannis:No comment. So the general we got a little we kind of dive vacated there. Let's reroute you know, get this train back on its tracks and talk about the general.
Sean:So real quick, before we get started. Do you want to do beat for beat or do you want to do? Well,
Giannis:I think you need to provide like a summer you need to still provide okay. Like a general summary. A general some I said general summary. Did you hear me? Sean? I said I think you need to provide a general summary of the movie. General
Sean:Plot summary. So Buster Keaton plays a train engineer who really loves the south, and he wants to fight for the Confederacy. Much like everyone else in the listing. In the intro, we are told that he has to loves his train, aka the general and his girlfriend, aka the girl no one actually really cares about. Anyways. That joke did Outland with Eonni Sorry, I was lying down. Okay, so he has those two loves. He tries to enlist. And the enlistment offices are like, Oh, this guy is way too valuable to the cause. Just have him you know, worn out on a battlefield and get killed because he's an engineer. So let's keep them here. He meanwhile just kind of sad that he can't be fighting for the South yada yada a year goes by the union is like, oh man, we have a great plan. We're gonna go behind enemy lines and steal their train and destroy the tracks and all this shit bridges, not tracks but keep going. So they do that and they steal the general aka Buster Keaton's real girlfriend and Buster kids. Like they can't fucking do that. So he gets on another train and basically chases after them for half the movie. unbeknownst to him, they also kidnapped his girlfriend who again, it's questionable if he would have done the same thing if he only knew she was stolen anyways, chases after them. He catches up he rescues the general and the girlfriend but the Union soldiers realize that chase after him and then he saves the day and wins the Civil War right?
Giannis:Not exactly know he prevents the further advancement of I believe general Oh man, what's this guy's name? It's like Porter or cares general pork porkins General porkins we're gonna call him General porkins he prevents the the advancement of General porkins troops by returning his train to the south behind past enemy lines and setting fire to a bridge whilst allowing Confederate troops to rally against the invading troops you know it's almost like Big Trouble in Little China then he's also promote he's also like he's he's made a lieutenant for his for his actions.
Sean:And then in the post credit scenes he gets killed in battle like a month later,
Giannis:but you know, Lieutenant Nah, that's foot soldier stuff. They didn't burn burn any bridges.
Sean:Oh, speaking
Giannis:of burning bridges. I want to watch Kelly's here at least here rose.
Sean:Yeah. Isn't it funny that we know each other so well that as soon as you say that my Kelly's Heroes. Anyways. Oh, these burn bridges. And that is a great movie.
Giannis:This song doesn't really match the tone of the film. But it is so great. You really do. Okay, South and south and last for more. Take a john Shut the fuck up.
Sean:Anyways, one thing that I think is kind of interesting about this movie is that Oh, it's not even Really about this movie, but I love Big Trouble in Little China. It's funny that in that film jack Burton, all he really cares about is getting his truck back or in this movie, all Buster Kane really cares about as getting his train back. And then there's rescuing female love interests, but you know, they don't really matter. You know, it's interesting. JOHN,
Giannis:are you trying to apply that that that females don't matter?
Sean:No, I'm not saying that whatsoever offensive. No, I'm not. I'm saying in the scope of those movies. They don't. I wish they had more of a role. Don't get me wrong.
Giannis:Say we're here right now. She would give you a word or two.
Sean:I want them to have a bigger role. Okay, one of my pet peeves about this. I love this movie. But if I had a pet peeve, well, several pet peeves, but one of them is that the female love interest, who I don't even remember her name. She's just so simplistic that can be getting she, Buster Keaton gets rejected from the listing. And she's like, Oh, you didn't list you don't have a uniform. I don't think I can date you fuck off, like,
Giannis:well, because she said what she says is don't speak to me again until you're in uniform. And then the very next time he actually speaks to her is when he's wearing a union uniform. That's just such a brilliant little detail that
Sean:that's pretty funny. I
Giannis:think that that really speaks to the and I'm not even being facetious here that really speaks to the genius of this moving
Sean:folks quick audio footnote here so we forgot to we cord a yogi green tea quote of the day during this episode, so we recorded it during the next episode, but here is the yogi green tea quote for this movie that we recorded after we did this recording that I'm now inserting here. Alright, Jani. Are you ready? Ready Ready buddy know what Yeah,
Giannis:Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I just I got kind of lost there. You know, I got lost in time for a second. I felt like I was me from a later date. But it's me right now. Currently, you ever have one of those like a temporal slip anyways, Shawn Yogi green tea quote of the
Sean:day like Denzel Washington and Tony Scott's deja vu Yeah, I have that all the time deja vu anyways lived Okay, well Jani was a tea bag say well Jani the yogi green tea quote of the day is say what you mean mean what you say? I think that is very apropos to our silent film today the general Don't you think is up is up because the South stood up for their their rights and morals? Jesus Christ? No, you fucking big it is it's because we're watching a silent film in which there is no dialogue. I mean, there's some you know, title cards and some dialogue cards. But there's no actual audible dialogue. So I thought that was kind of funny. But as the norm on this podcast, do you like to ruin everything? Oh, yeah,
Giannis:just like the North ruined Southern industry.
Sean:Christ. Somebody asked you this Jani. What do you love most about this movie?
Giannis:It's a while practical stunts more than anything. I think if you're gonna be watching, like a classic silent comedy, you know, especially one of the greats, Harold Lloyd Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin. What you're going to notice what what what is most obvious in the viewing is that they're performing these things with one very few safety nets and too little to no visual touch up. Meaning that what you're seeing was actually done, and very frequently had to be done right the first time.
Sean:Yeah, I mean, to be honest with you, I really don't think he has any kind of safety nets. Really. I mean, I was watching like one of the shorts I was watching yesterday, my wife's relations, which is fucking brilliant. First time I had watched it really hilarious. But there is one scene where he's jumping from a window so and uses the kind of like curtain outside, almost like it rips almost like a rope. So it dangles him to the next one below, and then uses that to dangle the next one below, and there's all one shot and then he gets the bottom. Because you're thinking Oh, man, there's probably a net underneath there, right? Nope, just sidewalk like if he fell, he probably would have died or like broken something. It's crazy. It's insane. I mean, like, but that's not to say like in this movie, what makes it so impressive is like doing everything on the train. It's just like, Holy Father,
Giannis:most impressive I'd say was everything he did with the cannon. Oh, that was incredible. As one of the best one it was. So there's a sequence where he he's first like pursuing the spies that invaded install the general is taken another train on the tracks. And at one point, he stops a train and behind it, he sees that there's a cannon just like waiting in a loading dock this giant big cannon so he hooks it. And that at some point, you know, he gets close enough to the general and the spies that he thinks he can just load up the cannon and fire it at them. Of course things kind of go right first he doesn't like put enough gunpowder in there. So the cannon it just fires into the train car. And so he kicks it out and only then later Do you see that it's an explosive munition so it would have totally destroyed
Sean:any the train car is very nonchalant about it. He's just like a whatever and that's
Giannis:like, That's like my probably my number two his expressions Buster Keaton's expressions are just priceless. It's phenomenal. It's just deadpan face. But anyways, he goes back there again back to the candidacy, to to adjust like his his gunpowder loading, and in the process of doing so accidentally unhooks the cannon but he gets his foot caught in a chain and so he's like stuck trying to get it back into the train car. But this chain is not letting him and at some point, the chain like also hooks up to the Canon car too. So he's he is dragging this canon car on his foot while holding on to the train car. And you just have to remember, neither the train or the Canon have stopped moving this whole time. All of this is being recorded in motion in real time. Yeah, I mean, it's just it's astounding. The limits he pushed his body and mind to to be able to achieve these shots. Yeah, it makes what Tom Cruise does today look like? Like childsplay?
Sean:Um,
Unknown:I don't know, Khalifa.
Sean:I don't think it makes it seem like child's play. It's just that we have so many safety precautions these days that he's really at the highest level save for like Jackie Chan, when Jackie Chan was as peak. But like, if we're talking right now, he's really at the closest to this. It's just that we have so many safety precautions these days, as we should, that you're just never going to get anything like this ever again. It was like the Wild West. I mean, if you know anything about his upbringing, he was a vaudeville actor. He basically grew up throwing himself on stage and his father throwing him around is doing this crazy shit. So that's why he's able to do that. It's just insane. But he just has such great timing. And what I love about that scene beyond the physicality is that it's great storytelling, both from perspective of the camera, being able to, you know, with your shots, tell the whole story without having to say anything, we totally understand what's going on, but also just his physicality, the movement and everything. And what I think is so important, just in action scenes in general, but particularly what the silent film comedians and Buster can get so right is that you have a cause and you have a result, or result leads to another cause and like as a chain. So Buster Keaton's doing this one thing, and leads to another thing happening. And that's basically what happens in the scene. He's trying to use the cannon. And he minds that joke for a cannon. So well, he does so much with this one thing, and it's brilliant. I don't
Giannis:know if that's your favorite scene, or one of your favorite stunt scenes stunt sequences. But it's definitely mine. What would you say? It's up there.
Sean:I mean, one of my favorites is actually not even a full scene. It's really just one shot. And it's not as impressive, but it's also super impressive. It's the shot where he's chopping wood. He's on top of the train. And then you have the armies behind him. You know the shot I'm talking about? Oh, no. Yeah, no.
Giannis:So yeah, the the scene he's talking about he? I don't even know what you call his what his character's name. It's like Johnny something, right?
Sean:Yeah, it's Johnny. So I mean, basically, he's chopping his wood for the train. And you have literally hundreds of soldiers behind him.
Giannis:Yeah, no, I mean, fire like Confederate regiment is retreating.
Sean:Yeah, in the background, and in the foreground, it's him. And it's
Giannis:I particularly lightly oblivious to it, too. That's the other thing.
Sean:He's oblivious, but it's just such a beautiful shot. It's so beautifully composed and staged. I mean, I really love shots where you have stuff going on in the background without cutting and you focus on a foreground like that. So I'm kind of predisposed to that. But it's just, it's still also like, he's still on that fucking train. Like this is all happening. There are hundreds of guys there. There's no effects. It's insane.
Giannis:I feel sorry for the assistant director who had to coordinate that.
Sean:Okay, so I was actually listening to another podcast. And they were saying that the assistant director, they accidentally shot him in the head with a blank
Unknown:goodness.
Sean:Yeah. Mm hmm.
Giannis:Did he survive?
Sean:I think so. They didn't specify what I think they would have said if he died. They must have done it after the shooting that that shot. Yeah, I think that sequence I mean, there's just so much To love about this film, I mean, I would just say one thing is that this is certainly not one of Buster Keaton's funniest forays, whether it be feature or shorts of anything. I think his shorts are a bit better than the features that I've seen. But that's because they're just so concise. And they are just so packed with brilliant, really brilliant jokes. That being said, this is not really going for the commonly of a shorts, this is going for something more grandiose and ambitious. And something that like just lasts, it works so fucking well. And a little side note is going off of that. One of the reasons why I think Buster Keaton is so well remembered and his stuff lasts so long, is that he really put the time and the energy and the effort into it. Whether it be his comedy, or you know, more action oriented stuff like this, he understood the camera, he understood how to use the language of film and cinema to his benefit, where he started with fatty Arbuckle, and I only watched the butcher boy. But even then it's it's really clear that the two are just on like totally different levels, or the butcher boy does not last It's okay. But it doesn't even hold a candle to any of Buster Keaton shorts. The guy just understand the Oh, he was always pushing himself. And this movie is just even know the storytelling by itself is brilliant. It's simple, but it's great. Anything
Giannis:really simple. You're right. The other thing is it fits Keaton's vision so perfectly, it doesn't really lapse from that from from his idea of what the film should be. He really creates his own world in a sense. And the narrative is entirely dependent on that in that it's so coincidental like it, there's just this embarrassment of coincidence that propels the narrative forward in most cases. Exactly. Yeah. And because it is, because it's elemental to the world. It's therefore elemental to the story, and you don't really think about it, you don't really care how accidental everything is, you don't care that when that cannon goes off, and finally shoots around at the union boys up ahead, it wasn't intentional when it did. It's just it's just funny. You don't care that Johnny just accidentally wanders into the same house in the middle of the night during the rain, where his girlfriend is being held and where they're planning the invasion of the South. It doesn't matter because it's just it's it's consistent. It's consistently like that from the very getgo. So in the world has cogency. I guess that's what I'm saying. If you want to build a film that is coherent, I guess it just has to be consistent to a sense, or if you're going to make something that doesn't make sense, it has to be consistent, consistently nonsensical. Yeah, the brilliance of this film is really the brilliance of silent film. And how its users managed to conveys so much story without saying anything by saying just so little having dialogue cards thrown in. I mean, maybe there are, I'm probably overestimating, but they're like maybe 20 dialogue cards in this whole film. And even then, those aren't all dialogues. Sometimes they're just like setting, they just mark setting.
Sean:And it's just like, if you're trying to learn about film, I feel like watching a silent film is one of the best ways to go about doing that. Because without dialogue, especially like with Keaton and Chaplin, you're learning how to use the visual language to your benefit and these guys both in their acting but also they're using the camera You're right, they were able to convey story in such a simplistic way, but in a way that worked so fucking well. I feel like another thing that we got to talk about and this is a negative. I know I want to knock this movie a little bit but the pro you want me to get it out? You know? We're gonna get it out. The Pro.
Giannis:You're gonna get it out. Okay. Okay, so hold on. I just need to write just putting it out there and putting it propping it up. I got your soap box out. You can get on it now.
Sean:Okay, is it made of soap? Can I wash myself? Like it's not a box made of soap? It's a box made for soap. But can I wash myself? like can I cleanse myself of my filth with it?
Giannis:I mean, if I guess if you like broke a piece of wood off and then scraped it against your skin fast and hard enough, you might be able to do that. But I imagine you'll get a lot of splinters. Yeah, that sounds. Yeah, you should probably Yeah, no, you should do that. I think that'd be a good idea. You should do it.
Sean:Thanks for that. I appreciate anyways, that's not a fucking soapbox moment, is just a real quick moment because you can't not acknowledge this aspect of the film, which is that the Confederacy are the heroes and the union are the bad guys. Now I'm not going to go Oh, man. A union superheroes, they are the best people in the world, that would be a lie. And that would just be an accurate we have them to thank for the term hookers anyways. It's just hard and 2020, where we have so much division in our country. So I had originally watched this movie when I like about four years ago, before Trump was elected, and I was more distant from all this kind of shit being from New Jersey, and I'm like, Ah, you know, this movie, the north and south thing is really arbitrary. It's weird, but it's arbitrary. So whatever, I can look past it. And you know, honestly, after the 15 minute mark of this movie, you can very much look past it to that being said, during the first 15 minutes, I literally had to turn off this movie, because we didn't get into the action yet. And I was just like, this is really disturbing me not that it's doing anything horrific. Sure, but I just can't, this is really rubbing me the wrong way. And I know I'm gonna love the rest of this movie. I don't want this to have a cloud over the rest of the movie for me. So I turn it off, turn it back on after a little bit. But yeah, it's frustrating that it took that perspective. That being said, I understand why it took that perspective. Just real quick history lesson for you, folks. If you're wondering, Buster Keaton, if you look on Wikipedia, you'll see that he said that, Oh, I didn't think that audiences would support a pro union approach to this movie. Despite the fact that the novel it's based off of the roles were reversed. It was the Union as the heroes and the Confederacy as the villains. So Buster Kane made that switch. Also things to note that in the 1920s, that was the rebirth of the KKK. And that was a moment in history where pro confederacy movements are very much taking place in America. And we're very much at a height akin to right now. So it seems to me, especially with some of other Buster Keaton's movies, like if you look at steamboat Bell, Jr. I can't remember what's general I want to say it's Stonewall Jackson is what the ships named after. But essentially, you have this pro confederacy Bateson his movies. At first, I was like, oh, that really disturbs me. I didn't know Buster Keaton was like that. But then the more logical sense of me was like, I don't know if he really was, it seems to me more that the country as a whole and the film goers, that people going to the movies and his audience, for him, he perceived to be more in that camp. So that's the decision he made. I'm not trying to say one way or another. I'm just taking an educated guess right now. But I mean, he was a traveling performer. I would seriously be shocked if he was, you know, going to kkk rallies. Anyways. Yeah, I don't think that he is particularly well, but it's also fairly inconsequential element to the film, so I'm not going to hold it against it. Like I would Birth of a Nation or something like that. Yeah, that's my little spiel. Up. No, no, he's
Giannis:not lying. Honestly. What john kind of failed to state at the very getgo is that Buster Keaton didn't actually run to enlist because he was like, you know, oh, yeah, you know, Billy, go south. He actually did it because his boo things. I hate that. I hate that phrase. I'm just gonna say his his girlfriend, his girlfriend's brother and father went to enlist and she expected him to do it. So he was just like, Okay, I'm a girl girl wants me to do it. I'm gonna do it if that's what baby wants got to make baby happy. And so that's what that's what breaks a relationship up it's really superficial. Honestly, it's it's very tame. I mean, if you're watching it you should you would honestly come and walk away with it thinking wow, that the whole like confederacy union thing was so superficial, it almost could have been reversed and it wouldn't have mattered either way. It doesn't really bog down the movie The movie or the watching experience for me no and I think that's why it hasn't really suffered the kind of attack films like Birth of a Nation or song in the south half Disney
Sean:Okay, yo, hey, test day Hey girl.
Giannis:Why you so racist? You know, something I really loved and I guess it's kind of just this is a more in the in the general sense the general sense it's the general sent I said the general
Sean:invite you shut up
Giannis:of the movie and it's techniques it's not any like one thing it's not just like you said it's not terribly funny. It's not you know, slapping your knee rolling down on the floor having a conniption hilarious but it is still like pretty darn funny, but at the same time, it's also an action film and at the same time that says, like you said, grand war epic all all. Simultaneously occurring at once all balanced perfectly. And that's the sort of thing we really just can't generate anymore. Yeah, I'm trying to think of some sort of modern equivalent to that. And you know, the best thing I can come up with right now off the top my head, not death of Stalin, because there's no action in there, though. It is really dang funny. It's gonna be like Shanghai noon, probably.
Sean:So do that. No, yeah. No,
Giannis:I was named something else.
Sean:I'm first of all that movie is what? 15 years old? I don't know how that counts.
Giannis:Second, I think it came out in 2000. I think it's 20 years old.
Sean:Yeah. So that's not current. Second of all, if you're gonna do a Jackie Chan movie, to not name any of his American movies,
Giannis:they don't count historical Action, Comedy. Those are the three criteria.
Sean:Historical action comedy, God, I'd
Giannis:have perfectly balanced and like, Good, good.
Sean:I would have to think about that. I don't. I don't think the Shanghai movies are that great. They're okay.
Giannis:No, they're not great. But they're like, they're, you know, you've got on one hand, you've got the Mona Lisa. And on the in the next hand, you've got Thomas Hart Benton and yeah, Thomas Hart Benton by comparison. Not fantastic. But what else you got? Andy Warhol, I wouldn't say Anyway, you
Sean:know, listeners, I want to do an audio footnote right here. I'm gonna I'm gonna think about it. And I'll let you know but I can't think anything off the top my head listeners I bet each and every single one of you quarter that he doesn't do it. You know? I'm not going to take that bet. I don't have that much faith in myself.
Giannis:Right in F y. What is our email? FYI? opinion@gmail.com
Sean:as fuck your opinion podcast@gmail.com
Giannis:yet right to that email address. If he if he does the audio footnote with your name, and
Sean:send you a chord it's fk your opinion podcast@gmail.com Fk because I couldn't do the fuck. Fk your opinion.
Giannis:Same, same instructions. You will get a quarter if he actually does it.
Sean:How you gonna send them the quarter? Jani? You're going to Venmo Korea. You're going to send an actual quarter in an envelope.
Giannis:Yes, that is exactly what I'm
Sean:so fucking weird. Who is? That's That's weird than sending a chicken because you knew you can do that. You can send a chicken for the Postal Service. just sending a fucking quarter. How can we
Giannis:learn that you could send a chicken in the US post?
Sean:There's a lot going on with the post office right now. I remember hearing about that. So yeah, that is a fun fact. But anyways, how much is a stamp worth what the stamp be worth more?
Giannis:It's worth more it's like so I'm spending 50 cents to send a quarter where I've said to get to listeners if you're in France right now, I would probably have to spend six bucks to get you this American quarter.
Sean:This is literally the equivalent of America creating pennies and realizing oh it costs more to make a penny than the actual worth of a fucking penny. That's what you're doing right now.
Giannis:Take a penny leave a penny exists. Yeah, you haven't thought about that? Have you? Because I haven't and I don't even know why I mentioned it.
Sean:Is that a phrase? Take a penny leave a penny.
Giannis:Yeah, like I take a penny I bet they have them in bodegas in chairs and all over the place Can
Sean:I just not take a penny? Can I take a penny and leave you instead? Or can I just not take anything and leave you and just be done with you?
Giannis:Yeah just keep on talking you're just you're you're you're not audio footnote just keep on talking boy How
Sean:am I gonna forget about it if I if I editing this episode, I'm gonna hear it later. It's not like I'm hearing it the one time I'm saying it the one time and I'll bada bing bada boom, it's gone. Presto. Like what?
Giannis:episodes where you have said you're going to do an audio footnote that you didn't you did not? Yeah, there are times where I did it.
Sean:I listeners I apologize for not doing those in the past episodes. I didn't think it was worth it or I didn't care. Okay, sometimes I really just don't care.
Giannis:Sean last time before
Sean:I have done it before and you know I've done it before it dumb bitch Weiss who is who
Giannis:are we talking about dumber?
Sean:I
Giannis:think of who's
Sean:dumber? foster kids girlfriend? Or Jani. That's what I wanted to know.
Giannis:Or the frickin blue backs.
Sean:That's not even a thing. You said you made that up. Your moron
Giannis:might have possibly tentatively I have tentatively made it
Sean:just call them the Yankees God probably a footnote here. Well says I can't really think of anything right now and I'm not gonna bother looking it up. Because you know, funky Ani. I'll just say off the top my head. Jackie Chan's miracles. I know that's from 1989. But he got he checked your boxes of historical action and comedy, and I'm keeping a Jackie Chan. So there you go. I just want to do like, historical action I would go like Hitman or something like that. But there's not really any comedy there anyways, fuck Eonni so deal with you.
Giannis:You mentioned something you didn't like, what else? Did you not like Shawn? Because I know on that outline you sent him. Okay.
Sean:Here's another thing,
Giannis:which I didn't know, I didn't know we did this, by the way on these movies that we both mutually love. Yeah, well, that was love for now we talk about things we don't like,
Sean:we don't have to talk. And we don't have to talk about things we don't like, I only put those there because those are legitimate things that I don't like. It's not like I was scraping the bottom of the barrel to use a phrase that we've used many times to find things is more so like, these are things as much as I love this movie. These are things I legitimately don't like. And the other thing that I didn't like, besides a Confederacy, which I've already talked about is the music. And that's honestly not even a knock at the movie because that's not something that Buster King can control. I know I'm you let me finish. Let me finish let me finish the music is something that is depending on who is distributing or putting out the fell for the silent film version. Let me finish watch. I didn't watch the keynote version. So maybe that's why we have this debate. Where was the keynote version? It was on YouTube, was it? Yeah, I
Giannis:watched it on YouTube was like the first option available.
Sean:It wasn't when I google that and I typed in I said the general key and key No, I got like this cinema world or something like that. It was cinema something and it was the same thing was on amazon prime. Now I want to rewatch it and listen to the keynote one because the one I listened to that's on amazon prime. The music was okay. But the point is that the music fluctuates. So sometimes you have really great music because it's not attributed to the movie. It's
Giannis:added after the fact listeners in case you didn't know that the music choice is pretty fluid with silent films that actually changes that just for instance, cabinet of Dr. caligari. I watched like eight years ago, and they had this really updated modern soundtrack that did not jive with the film in any way, shape or form depends, like for example to go off of it.
Sean:The short I watched last night, my mother's relations on the Kino disk that I was watching on the soundtrack was great The music was literally perfect, but then I was watching a version on YouTube and the music was just a it was okay it wasn't terrible but it didn't hold a candle to the brilliance that was on the Kino set so yeah, I if you watch the keynote version, then I bet you The music was better than what I watched that the one on Amazon Prime I didn't think it was necessarily bad. It was it was okay it was just okay it wasn't great.
Giannis:What was so great about the keynote version and listeners I would really advise us watching the keynote version specifically is that the score uses two songs that were of very significant cultural importance and the north and the south to score whenever the Confederacy or the union we're doing something for instance, whenever you whenever the film movie, whatever we're calling it
Sean:your arbitrary definition you're more on
Giannis:cuts to Buster Keaton The score is some variation of the song Dixie or you know, I wish I was in the land of cotton none add add add add, add, add, add edit. Look away Dixieland. I don't know if that wasn't in your version was it john?
Sean:It was a bit
Giannis:but whenever the North is doing something, the soundtrack is as they were marching through Georgia, which was a short song that was written after Sherman's march to the sea in celebration of his victory capturing Oh no, is it Charlottesville or Charleston? I don't exactly remember which which city he captured. It was a major Southern stronghold. And along the way as he like tore this path, this like scorched earth path through the south, he tore up railroads, liberated cities, things like that freed slaves caused billions and billions of dollars and billions and billions of today's dollars in damage to the land, they would let it later reclaim. But yeah, that's what that that effort produced to produce this song talking about Sherman's march to the sea. And so I thought that was really interesting, very significant that they use these two songs because Dixie was, though I think it was written by a northern abolitionist for a minstrel show that marked Southern sentiment, it was eventually co opted and re appropriated by the south as this sort of unofficial anthem of the Confederacy. So that really brilliant choice. I don't I'm pretty sure that wasn't what was originally planned. Laying I think, and I'm, you know, you know this a lot of silent films, obviously, because they didn't have audio capabilities, there wasn't an audio track. So if you were hearing music, it was being played by a live orchestra on the pit in front of you. So I'd be really interested to hear what exactly they were playing with the film at the time, at what a fluctuated from every theater, you might not even the the pianist, he might have gotten drunk, you know, he would have started grinding on his piano. And that's what you would have heard instead of,
Sean:and the thing is, for me, what I really care about particularly, because these films are so physical, I really like music that matches the action that's going on, whether it be tonally or just you know, getting every beat kind of there. Another example is watching go on the keynote, this collection, and some of it was good, but some of the chases the music just was not matching up to what was going on on the screen. And I'm like, this is frustrating. It's just weird. It's not it's in Congress. Is that the right word? thing? Congress? Yeah, it's in Congress. It works. So it threw me for a loop. And I felt like the verge on Amazon Prime I watched, it was a little bit of that it wasn't terrible, but I just never felt like Oh, man, this music was really hitting on all cylinders. That being said, I what I want to do one of these days is and there are clips on YouTube that have done this. And I actually watched this right after. But take the Mad Max Fury Road soundtrack and put it over this movie. If you if you have you watched the clips. Have you watched the clips? I just I can't say it's the bad it's too overblown. For this movie. I feel like I will send you a clip. It works so well. It works so fucking well. And I'm like, I want to watch that movie like that. I mean, another example is Soderbergh a couple years ago, he took Raiders of the Lost Ark, made it black and white, took out all the audio, and replace that with the social network score. And it's fascinating. But similar. What I love is because there's no audio track here, you can technically play around with the music and what it can or can't be. I just I want the music to follow the action scenes, not just like slap something on and say, Oh, yeah, I guess that works. But yeah, watch the keynote version. Now watch the keynote.
Giannis:I think you'll really dig it.
Sean:I think I will
Giannis:begin with just like one small thing. One, one tiny little adulation here. When Johnny Buster Keaton is sneaking into the union headquarters are the headquarters of the regiment in the middle of the rain, and he's knocked out a union soldier on patrol and he's stolen his uniform when he sneaks in, into the house into the room where his girlfriend is being held captive, puts the window up and he climbs through. And after he stood up and you know, made gotten a sense of his space, the window fall shut and you hear a sound effect. And it's not a sound effect. It's not like somebody did Foley to record a window shouting, it's just like, it's just a drum. But it totally sells that you don't even think for a second. It's almost weird. It just kind of it kind of breaks you out of the experience to finally to hear a sound effect.
Sean:Yeah, the same thing was on mine. I
Giannis:almost feel like we lost the same one. And I'm I don't know, we might have been and you just don't appreciate the historicity of the music choice.
Sean:Yeah, I don't, I don't care. Fuck your opinion, man. Don't do that. Fuck your opinion. I don't care about the history of it. I care about whether it works within the context of the movie. If it works, emotionally, if it works emotionally. I'm all there for it. It's not that I'm against piano or whatever. The older more silent film ask music. I love that too. It's just it's got to work for the scene. It's got to work for the movie. Okay, moving on.
Giannis:I feel like we've talked about it sufficiently. Is there anything else that you want to get out there anything else you want to? You want to praise anything else you just want to get on your knees and let's just say this is a beloved fresco hanging on your wall and you're on your knees and you just you shuffle over to the wall to the fresco and you place your hands on it. You feel all the the tesira you rub your cheek up and down across them and you look at it and there's like one specific area you just want to lick. What's this? Look? What's that lickable area for you right now.
Sean:Okay, a couple notes that I didn't make that didn't say going off my list. There's a quote buzzer key and said so there's a card. When he gets rejected from enlisting, he says if you lose this war, don't blame me. And you know who lost that was?
Giannis:Oh, they lost the fucking war though. Nah, that's why I You know what, I think I might have learned that in a textbook. Okay,
Sean:this is this is another joke. I re made my opinion clear on this. But I said let's just call it debatable. They say comedy doesn't age. Well, well, the comedy and this one did age well, but the pro confederacy stance has not say I'm a stand up comedian here. Tell me I don't understand what I meant by this, but please tell me what I meant by this. I said the fire bride gag then falling in water was great. Oh, I got bridge I met bridge, sir. Bridge right bridge. So to the gag when they're on the bridge, and he's trying to light fire to the bridge. And well, he's trying to
Giannis:leap over the fire.
Sean:Yeah, he's set he has to leap up. So he pours oil or gas on the bridge. And then he's gonna light it on fire. Right? He's on the wrong side. And his girlfriend being a dope accidentally knocks the fire onto it before he crosses it over and he's like, Oh, fuck me. Like, what am I gonna do? And I don't know what that was done practically. Or they kind of did some effects there. But it sold me it looks really fucking convincing. I'm like yelling Oh, fuck. And another thing like small side note, I was constantly just saying like, Oh my God with all the stunts going on. I mean, for example, when he was he went all the way on top of the train. And there's clearly no safety net. I'm like, Oh my God, he's actually doing that. Anyways, in the scene. He's on the wrong side of the fire. And he's like, Oh, shit. So he has to jump over the fire. And that's awesome. But as he jumps over, classic Buster Keaton site gyg. The the plank that he's supposed to land on, actually isn't their city. He falls through the bridge into the water below. And it's great. It's so fucking funny. He's a brilliant, he's brilliant. Yeah, no, he's
Giannis:not wrong. What you're talking about he jumps he jumps over the fire and he falls through what's called the sleepers which are those like little wooden those pieces of wood to which the rail is a fixed or fixed rather. I don't necessarily know if it would have been possible for him to fall through two of them. I don't I think their space to go together a little tighter than that. But I
Sean:caught I think
Giannis:they might have removed one so he could fall through. What I'm saying is Yeah, I think he did it but I think it would have been impossible for it to have actually happened. But it's five day not the sleepers. It's funny. No, it's funny. It is really funny. But yeah, what when you were describing it when you that joke you made and Shawn I just want to point out I had a cricket in my room here a little while ago and he stopped making noise so I went to go check on him. He has a little tiny bathtub that he well his corpse is currently lying in with slit wrists. He heard that joke he made and he ended his life like a Roman general. With what how did he slit his wrists? Little tiny razor blade?
Sean:What do you think it would make more sense for him to try and knock something over? And then have it just smash them all that's so indignant. How
Giannis:are his family going to bury his body
Sean:if they flush himself down the toilet? I mean again
Giannis:the family needs a body to bury
Sean:slit did the worst his family it seems like his family has abandoned him Maybe that's why he slit his wrists.
Giannis:No his family they live they live on the other side of the house this is just like this is his his his Regina
Sean:tell
Giannis:me his generals quarter. General he's a general Shawn
Sean:You mean to tell me that you're just letting a cricket family roam free and live in your house? is am I getting that right? Yeah, I
Giannis:work from home right now man there's not a lot to do. Except having to find a shelter a family in need. Then I'm going because I'm a very magnanimous person, you know and if it's if that small if that one tiny effort just letting this family of crickets move into my home temporarily while they're trying to get themselves together after this Roman general cricket was furloughed because you know, these times they're very uncertain who knows when a tiny cricket Roman general is going to get his job? It's not getting his fucking job back because he slit his fucking wrists. Yeah, you're gonna play and you're gonna blame for that great you better send money to his family. Okay, I'm gonna tell them I am not going to lie on your behalf I will lie about many things but I will not lie when when the life of my friend has been lost. Well quarter do if I send you in a quarter well that do actually that's a lot of money to them. So So yeah, in cricket currency that's at least like 25k
Sean:Let me get this right. He got lost his job got furloughed. You couldn't have anything. You couldn't give him 25 cents you cheap bastard. That's on you. No, no. See, here's
Giannis:the thing. Here's the thing. I couldn't give it to him. He was too prideful to accept. He was he was not so prideful that he couldn't stay in my home but he was too prideful to accept money however now that he's not in the way the family will gladly accept support of a financial of a financial major
Sean:all chip in a quarter if you chip in a quarter. How about that? Hey, man,
Giannis:times are uncertain. I'm I'm a little strapped for cash. Bastard.
Sean:Speaking of cheap bastards, last than final joke on my notes, Buster Keaton sword. So there's a great gag where Buster key and he is waving around a sword at the end battle. And it's just constantly breaking and constantly he's flinging it and his gang thrown about and he ends up killing a union soldier rolling man.
Giannis:Yeah, it's not even affected by it. Totally unfazed.
Sean:He doesn't give a fuck
Giannis:is like, okay, skewers this man. Well, I don't actually I don't know if he knows that he's killed somebody. He just knows that the soldiers around him are being shot.
Sean:Yeah, he doesn't realize it. But anyways, my thought was, well, that swords always breaking. I guess it really was made in America. Specifically the South it was made in the south. Yeah, I
Giannis:mean, you know, the the factories were all in the north. I won't, I won't can't fault you there. They only they only grew the cotton. They did not make the thread for the most part.
Sean:All right, buddy. Well, let's wrap this thing up.
Giannis:Because look at that, folks, if we keep talking for three more minutes, we'll have been talking for almost the exact runtime of this movie. All right, yani. What's your rating? Sean?
Sean:My rating is a nine out of 10. What's your rating? Ah,
Giannis:let's see.
Sean:And I want to give it a 9.5 event, not for the Confederacy. But you know, oh, well,
Giannis:well, you know, I'm gonna give this one an eight point. And by the way, you know, I keep losing track. Are we allowed to do decimal points at this at this stage? Are we still you know, keep going back and forth. You're saying we can do this. You saying we can't
Sean:ask you a little cricket friend. Hey, Halo cricket, buddy.
Giannis:Are we able to test my points? Oh, you know, it's funny. You say? It was actually one of our one of our loyalist listeners and you killed him, he would have been able to tell me where we stood on the decimal point debate. But now he
Sean:can't he didn't have a firm opinion on that before. He couldn't. He never mentioned like anything about the decimals before he killed himself.
Giannis:It was one of the joys of his life chirping to every one of your
Sean:How long do crickets live? I mean, isn't Isn't it pretty possible that he was born post Corona so he's only lived in a Corona world? And then he wasn't
Giannis:for loti Don't expect me to imbricate my joke, I can't do that it was preposterous at the very getgo either way, um, if we can do decimals, if that's where we're at now, I don't know for sure listeners, if you know email in FYOK comm
Sean:FK your opinion? podcast@gmail.com Yeah, whatever
Giannis:that tart said, email there. Let me know. I'll be waiting for your answer. But until then, I'm just gonna go with it. Say that we're doing decimal points. And give this one an 8.9 Yeah,
Sean:gotta be point one below me.
Giannis:In point one below, I didn't pick it. If I picked it. I'd go high, but I didn't pick it. And also my rating is more realistic. I can't I also can't give it a rating higher than Cold War. Cheers.
Sean:I would give any movie I think it's already been proven true. But I would give pretty much every movie we've watched a higher rating than fucking cold war. Fuck that movie. worst movie I've ever seen. Oh, my God.
Giannis:We don't want to get to heat and Shawn
Sean:Jani. What are we watching next week.
Giannis:So you know Sean it's that's actually a great question. And it's a question I would not have been able to answer about an hour and a half ago because I figured it out right before we started as always fucking do so I thought okay, the general Where did Where do I go to from that? So I was thinking okay, Birth of a Nation but then I thought No, that's too easy. So then I thought Song of the South but then I realized there's no way in heck Disney's releasing that one from the vault right now. So I had to I had to go somewhere else. So I was thinking of song in the south and that you know, automatically took me to song of the sea but then I realized no one in their right mind even you so maybe not necessarily right mind but no living breathing conscious human being could ever dislike song in the sea. So then naturally, I went back to Birth of a Nation but that caused me to start thinking about other civil war films. So then I started thinking about the original book guide, starring Clint Eastwood which featured his cover of the cuckoo she's a pretty bird in the end credits. And so thinking about that, I started saying to myself, One Flew East One Flew West One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest one it's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Sean:You might want to pick another movie I like that one. Oh, no
Giannis:more I was really banking on you hating that one. I
Sean:love that movie. No, it's great.
Unknown:I feel like I told you that why would you like it?
Sean:Jesus even more on Okay,
Giannis:hold on. top my head Can I just come up with anything right now?
Sean:Uh, figured out Jani.
Giannis:Oh, wait no just added on. on HBO max.
Sean:You know what's on HBO max in the TCM section. Point Break Point Break isn't a TCM section.
Giannis:That's crazy. Stupid as hell.
Sean:That's a feature one. That's coming up.
Giannis:Okay. Have you ever seen Dog Day Afternoon?
Sean:Dog? Love Dog Day Afternoon.
Giannis:Have you seen Badlands? No, I told you haven't seen Badlands. Okay, screw it. We're doing Badlands that's official. We're doing Badlands
Sean:No shit. No. Can we not? Can you please not?
Giannis:Yeah, it's a Terrence Malick film. I'm pretty confident you're not going to like it. So let's just do that. Yeah, I think that that's a good idea. Doing Badlands folks. So get your get your jeans on and your Converse and your hats and your pistol that you're going to kill a whole bunch of people in the Midwest with
Sean:why you guys spoil the movie. I haven't ever fucking seen a fucking asshole.
Giannis:I slept pretty well known film at this point.
Sean:And you know, I haven't seen it. Why would you just ruin it for me ever like that? What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh, you asshole. As Oh god. Fuck you. Jani. Fuck you go fuck yourself.
Giannis:Oh, I'm sorry. Are we still doing this? have already done this joke. Whatever.
Sean:Ah, okay. Buster Kane story I have. So I want to say like two years ago, his Buster Kane studio is near Quixote studios located in Hollywood, specifically in Hollywood. And they are having like this Buster Keaton day where they're unveiling a new plaque for him, because that's where the studio was. And they want to have it at his studio location. Because the previous plaque for him was actually on the wrong side of the of the street. So they got a new one and put it on the correct side. Studio right now is QA which is a rental company in Los Angeles. So they rent a lot of film equipment, to a lot of productions. But going on the studio tour, it was just really fascinating to see. So they basically, the guys would have a book like a flipbook and show hey, here's where Buster Keaton, you know, just around this one little block shot this scene from college or this scene from one of his shorts. And it's insane to think that ham but also other like Charlie Chaplin, other silent folk comedians, really mind, you know, a two block radius for all they could I mean, they shot so much around there. It's insane. So it was just really cool to walk around and see it. It was cool to see everything. It was cool to see like, oh, the church, like the church in one week is still there, I think. And all these other things I don't like Oh, it was fun. It was neat. I love Buster Keaton.
