Ep 2: F**k Bad Boys!

God dammit, on three one, I say three. Okay. 123 on three like, oh number three on the number 3123 let's find out but whatever I do, that's the whole, you know? My existence is a half second off every time. It's just oh yeah 70% of the ad revenue goes to me. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, god damn it. Okay, let's get into it. You're gonna sing a song or some. Okay. Bad Boys. Bad Boys. What are you going to do? What are you going to do when they come for you? Bad Boys. Bad Boys. What are you going to do? What are you going to do when they come? For you? poetry? Wow. Yani thank you for that. Yeah, whatever the fuck that was. But let's be honest. I think you kind of messed up a little because it's bad boys. What's not What are you? It's what you're going to do? What you're going to do when they come for you bad boys bad boys. But anyways, bitch. We're doing bad boys. The original 1995 bad boys starring Will Smith and Martin Lawrence Yani, I heard you have a plot summary you want to tell us about? Oh, yes, I do. And boy oh boy, guys, is this one going to perfectly sum up the entire one hour? 59 minute runtime. Are you ready for this? Kids? You ready for this show? I cannot wait. I've been anticipating this for days. Okay, so here we go when Pepe lepew steals their heroin stash to penises with handguns. To penises with handguns. And I said to get madaket will wantedly destroy half of Miami to get it back. We'll have to do a clean one. When Pepe few friends from the Hanna Barbera oh god Okay. Okay. When Pepe lepew steals their hair when stash two penises with head guts at a cent yet madaket will wantedly destroy half of Miami to get it back there you go folks. That's That's two hours of cinema. Well not cinema that movies what garbage? Actually? Well, well. I don't know if I called cinema but I would call it a film. I think I think our boy Marty would beg to disagree. But let's keep moving. Yeah. Okay. Hello, folks, and welcome to fuck your opinion. A movie review podcast where my friend or I don't know Are we friends my name and call we just some schmuck guy no name Jani. This is a podcast where my friend Jani and I know needs you right now. Each week, we choose different movies, one choose a movie that they love, but they know the other one is going to absolutely hate and vice versa. So one week, someone's gonna be really happy. And next week, someone's gonna be really miserable. Like this week, I was really happy because we went away. I was depressed, severely depressed. This week, we went with bad boys, the 1995 Michael Bay Will Smith Martin Lawrence classic buddy cop movie that I love. For some reason. I originally started watching the movie a year and a half ago or something. And I will admit it was real late at night. And I just got tired and kind of get through it. And I just didn't finish it. But then I re watched it a couple months ago. And I realized, oh my god, this movie is so funny. It's so clever. I think it's really smart. And I don't know if I use the word brilliant, but I might because what I love about is it takes all these standard traditional cop dynamics these cop scenes and often either flips them on their head or spins them in a fun and funny kind of way. So I really love the movie. I know you're gonna have to you're gonna have to go into that in detail with me because I felt the exact same opposite way. Okay, Jani. Well, let's talk about that story. And that writing? What do you think about the story? And what do you think about the writing? Well, as far as the story goes, there is no story as far as the writing goes. Even Michael Bay hated the script. And you can tell that there were no less than three people working on it at any given time because this movie has no idea what it is. It thinks that it's Trading Places it thinks that it's a comedy and it also thinks that it's an action film. It's only one One of those things, it's not funny. It's not Trading Places. And I guess by definition, because there are explosions, car chases, gunfights or some other sort of action every three minutes. It is by definition, an action film. But it is not interesting. It's it's vulgar to the point of exhaustion. Now. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly how I feel. I mean, I wrote every two minutes, I had something that just made me vehemently angry watching it. Because it either didn't make any sense, any logical sense for the characters or the story to go in this direction. And yet it does, or there are absolutely no consequences to decisions or actions made by the characters, where there definitely should be Oh, I was kind of the opposite. or every two minutes, I was writing a note where I was just like, oh, man, that's a great line. Oh, man, that's so funny. Oh, man. I love how they took this scene and kind of flipped on it on its head. I mean, the scene that really gets me that I love I'm sure I have something to say about it. But let's go Yeah, is the scene where they find the dead body? I think that's really what sealed the deal for me because in a standard CSI procedural, they come upon the dead body and they go, Oh, you know, time to death. All those kind of standard stuff. It's kind of door where this one they come in with I kind of jokes they they come a human life was just lost How? Okay, well, no, no, no, they come in and it's kind of funny. They don't know about the dead body. Yeah. Then when they get to it, have Martin Lawrence just being disgusted by it not but not Scott's not the right word. Martin Lawrence having a very visceral reaction. He's a bit grossed out by it, I think is very human. And this very, I mean, of course, it makes sense. And it's very funny. Are you joking? Well, how long is they've been cops for over though they've been partners for over six years. I think that's what it is. It's five or six years, something like that. They've been partners that long. That means they've been in the force for much longer, maybe twice that long. So they have definitely been subjected to corpses, rotting corpses, main corpses raped, if this aerated corpses all the time, even if they're in the drug unit, they have definitely been subjected to that. So why on earth would a 10 year guy or even just a five or six year guy still have such an adverse reaction to a dead body? I'll give you that. But I don't care. How is he still in the force? How is he still in the force? If he has that pore of a stomach? concerning? concerning depth? And rod? I don't understand. Maybe homicide first. And then he's like, I can't I can't deal with as insurance. I don't know. But I thought it was a fun, funny scene, his character, he is just an incompetent fool. Both of them are just Well, we'll get into character later. Right now we're talking about writing. I hated that scene. What else did you what other scenes? Did you just like? Love? Did you think were actually good quality writing, I mean, another scene to go off of that. I don't think it's one of my favorite scenes. But another scene that again, I feel like took a framework of something expected and standard and managed to find humor within it and flip it on its head a little bit was when they were going where Martin Lawrence and teal Leoni are going through the photos of potential suspects. It's like about halfway through the movie, she's trying to recognize the photos. But Martin Lawrence is eating a bologna sandwich at the same time. And she's just like, I don't eat flesh. And then there's just as great banter between the two. And Martin Lawrence rates, start eating a pig on everything. It's not as good as the other one. But I found it really funny, especially at the end with the pickle. I appreciate how the movie constantly finds instances where these are scenes that another movie with dry or just Okay, these are the standard scenes that you got to put in. But they managed to find fun ways to go about them that are both in character and a lot of fun because Michael Bay hated the scripts so much because again, they were over like three different forces influencing he had Martin Lawrence and Will Smith improvised the majority of their lines and what you're saying sounds like they're doing this really subversive execution of what would otherwise be a very very standard cop Drama Comedy buddy Phil, but it's not it just feels like it's funny are different because the dialogue and the way they're speaking is completely unstructured. And that's because it is but that every single scene, the humor, but it doesn't, it doesn't thread together. You don't know build a building out of malformed bricks I shunxin them. I'm not gonna build a very it's not going to withstand winds and storm Listen, this is gonna fall down at the first Gale this might be something that's just a divide between us and filmmaking, but I just don't see that necessarily has a flaw in it like it doesn't matter how the thing was made I mean the first Iron Man was made in very similar fashion there's a tons of movies diehard was also movie they were writing as they were filming they barely had a blueprint. So there's a lot and but there are a lot of examples that Yeah, are just as bad if not yours. And then it comes down to is the filmmakers, the actors and the filmmakers. You have to have competent people behind the behind the camera and on the screen. But I think that's what they have. They have competent Oh, they did a good job. From rap to acting in the last four years. And a comedian who i don't i don't think he had been in more than like three or four features up until this point, but he had a sitcom. Okay to finish off the story. Because I think after this, we should talk about acting and characters. But there's a lot more to say about the story. I have like tons of I want to actually list I want to list them off. But you tell say your thing first, and then I'm gonna say my like five minute rant. Anyways, I will give you that the story as a whole. What I imagine the script was from the get go is pretty generic, pretty bland, but the actors are what really bring that wife into it. And what I really appreciate and this is more of a character thing, I guess is that the main two leads, they just play off of each other so well. And there's so many instances where they get into arguments were in another movie, this might be the thing that really pushes them apart. But then you know, they hash it out. And then they come back together at the end of the scene, which feels very genuine, but just very earnest to real real life. You know, friendships, I mean, let's be honest, you and I are like that all the time, where we just say fuck off, and we get really angry at each other. And then we just come back around at the end. So I really appreciate that. I really loved it. And something before I see you shrugging right now, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, not shrug. I'm protesting, physically testing what you say the last thing I want to really highlight about the story that I love. Before you are talking about, Oh, we don't know if this is a comedy film, an action film or something else. I kind of see it more as a comedy film in the guise of an action film, because the visuals that Michael Bay brings, and we'll talk about this later, are very action specific, but because the actors riff so much, what I love about is the comedy I love, the fact that Martin Lawrence intends to be his partner Will Smith and vice versa. I love that kind of high jinks comedy. I know it's not the equivalent, but it's very reminiscent of a Some Like It Hot or Dirty Rotten Scoundrels where people are kind of like doing a little conning or lying, but in a fun kind of way, and they're stumbling through. And I love that kind of humor. So to see it here, especially in a movie that wouldn't normally have it. I just found so fun and refreshing. Again, I see you shrugging and I will admit there are some problems with it. But I just had so much I had so much fun watching it that I just did not really care. Yeah, no, I'm sure you had fun watching it all this rific they're doing By the way, about 90% of it is how much they want to get laid. In fact, that's the very we'll get into this with character later. But I just want to state at the outset that Martin Lawrence and Will Smith underlying character motivations for both of them are all centered around sex, Martin Lawrence, he just wants to get laid with his wife he finds work and family getting away from getting you know from getting some some tang to say it vulgarly and then Will Smith is just a slot Will Smith has a slot in the in the movie fix. That's just hilarious that Will Smith, he tries to sleep with almost every woman he comes across. And that's there's not much conflict in that. And the fact that that they riff on each other, they can have these contentious moments. And at the end of the scene, it's all fine because they're actually buddies, and they really love each other, which is nice. And all as a side note, I'll say, yeah, Martin Lawrence, and Will Smith, they have great chemistry in the film. I think if they didn't bounce off each other as well as they did, this movie would be somehow even worse. But the fact that they can't insult each other, the fact that there isn't some sort of carryover in terms of conflict really damages the dramatic potential for the film, even if it's a comedy, there has to be like some sort of realistic, dramatic tension going on all throughout, whether it's an undercurrent or it's obvious, it has to be there. And for that reason, I can't buy that Martin Lawrence would ever believe Will Smith was trying to sleep with his wife and so it didn't make sense when he I tried to sneak in the house when he thought that he heard Will Smith pleasuring his wife or something like that on the phone instead of just saying like, Hey, what's going on over there? Oh, that's right. You're my best friend and my wife of like, 15 plus years, of course, you wouldn't be sleeping together. Yeah. Then it goes over his house tries to get in, and then they fight. And then Martin Lawrence is like, Oh, no, it's okay. I misunderstood man. It's just you know, that I'm not getting laid all the time. Because again, that's really all my character cares about is, is getting it in less than that bit. Sure. I'll give you it doesn't entirely make sense given that partners first focuses on it, they focus I'm saying that's 20 minutes. I'm saying that specific bit, you know, that's a sixth of the run time that's not okay. To that run time. That's 20 minutes of a two hour fail like 76 of the scene is five minutes with assuming that lead up. That's about it. That's all you're talking about. So anyways, folks, what I want to do right now is I want to get into a point by point Oh, geez, examination of why I dislike this film. I needed so much going. Speaking of which, what was that you're drinking again? Sean. I'm drinking some $3 white wine some $3 Pino from Trader Joe's. Charles shops quite good. Yeah, that's about 10am it's not it's it's almost noon. No, it's not almost okay. It's 1154 Shut the fuck up. Well, you enjoy it. You enjoy your three buck Chuck, I'll be enjoying my Talisker sky before I just want to take a sip before I go into the spiel here. By the way trade shows if you want to sponsor us if you can just pay me and wine. That's it. That's all I need. Talisker all except the same. You can keep your wine or vinegar or whatever you want to call it. You know, that does the trick. So, Shawn, I got a question. Yeah. Does the opening feel tacked on and totally unnecessary? It does. But I love it. I love that. You know why it does? You know why? unnecessary? No, because it didn't exist. It didn't exist and it is tacked on and unnecessary. It wasn't supposed to be there. Michael Bay looked at the cut realize I didn't have an opening. So we went out and shot this and I think over the course of like two days, otherwise, I think we would have just started with a totally inconsequential landscape credit shots of Miami that are either moving in or flying away to an overly dramatic theme. But the thing is, it doesn't vibe with the rest of the flight. It feels like it doesn't belong. Okay, first of all, that's just filmmaking, you make a cut, you realize, oh, we're missing something, we need to add it. So that's what they did. I love this opening, the fact that they're able to establish who the characters are. They're dynamic and so much about them in the course of three minutes, I think is just fucking amazing. It's probably one of my favorite action character introductions I can think of, I mean, honestly, within the first 15 seconds of them talking, you know, just about everything you need to know about them, which is you can keep track of who you're seeing on camera because in three minutes, there are 84 cuts there. 84 Okay, we're talking we're not saying like, I'm just saying the beginning is edited much more differently than the rest of the film to what in addition to what I said, I shot I also read the question and I thought it was so funny every line that they said I mean, like yeah, Martin Lawrence talking about how he wants to how his compensation for like not having sex as eating fast food. No, but that's definitely That is so funny. No, you're undercutting you got no got french fries in between Will Smith's chairs that that is so funny. No, but it's there what you were talking about before they're dynamic and how he's just so livid about it. And he's just like oh shit I'm sorry die It was just so funny. And then them when they get those when those bad guys having the guns on them, and they find to the study stroke, and they their Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are so pissed at each other that they're like hold the fuck on guys. We're having an argument right now with guns in their faces why realize it's part of it. It's distraction is also partly authentic. And that's why I love about it so much. It's so fun. Like I've seen that before. I feel like I've seen it other places. I can't mention a specific example right now. But while I was watching it, I was thinking Wow, I've seen this done a lot. I sure I find it done before but this was a really good way to do it. It was really good. It truly truly and Michael Bay fashion of course. But anyways moving on. So Shawn, when when all those guys are about to infiltrate the police headquarters, there's a guy in the back of the van and he's dressed up into a into a cop outfit. So I got a question. Why did they live in the guy about being a diversion and then shoot him while driving. Why not just drop like a dead body in a cop uniform instead? Wouldn't that be like a little more conspicuous and less risky than firing live rounds on a public street? Oh, and by the way, when the guy falls out the back door, the back door is kind of just like give way, like, as if you know, maybe like a hard breeze would blow them open. Are you trying to tell me that the back doors? were just like, not locked? I'm not gonna defend that scene at all. No, you shouldn't. Yeah, you know why? Because also, when the cops would have found him, they were going in over like 30 miles an hour. If you push our body out of our car onto concrete, it's going to have Road Rash. And the second you look at it, you're going to know that it was dragged or fell from a moving vehicle, not just shot on place. I don't I think you're failing to mention my favorite part about it, which is the bad guy. What's his name again? Who Shay foodshed. They love you. So what I love about him is just like he has the most. Not innocuous, but he's like all police officers. I just saw a shooting I bet a police officer just got shot. And he says that, like not calm but just not convincing kind of way. It's just really bad acting. But it's almost charming because of that. It's like $1 mic. It's not charming at all. It's a it's a giant flaw if you're a stab if that's the first thing we're seeing from a character. And it sounds like listen, I it's a giant flaw food. But we'll get into why I hate food. Shea is a character later on. Now I'm not I break. Shea. So when they're breaking into the headquarters, I just I couldn't help but think that it was such a miracle that the guard watching all the surveillance footage had indigestion we was it's they never actually state explicitly or show explicitly what it is that's wrong with him. All they say is that he had a taco. Yeah. That made him like tired or no, he does tacos. tacos. singular. He had one taco he mentioned eating a single taco. And this is a large, heavy set man. Are you telling me one taco gave, I need to strike overweight man enough indigestion to cause him to lose focus on his job. That's what the night guard is supposed to be awake from the hours of like 10pm to 8am. And he's been doing this I'm assuming for years. I here's the thing. This is going back to what I was saying before, where this movie spins things, whether it's just improv or not. It spins traditional scenes and kind of funny ways. It is something where you could just totally have the guard just look in watching whatever is like, Oh, I shouldn't have those tacos. I just think that's such a funny little bit, guys. No, that's not I think it's real. But it has nothing to do with the convenience of it. They would have everything to do with the convenience of it. Otherwise, yeah, just have them kill him, then I would actually feel that these people are threatening and stuff they get through. Because they didn't even think about the security. The thing is they didn't really even think that much about the security cameras if they didn't think about killing the guard and the security cameras, but I mean, it's like what was Miss says later on. They didn't kill him because they didn't want to allow all the force on them. Shawn, later on in the movie, these are people that kill their own scientist and then call headquarters to gloat about how they just did it. Are you telling me they wouldn't just mark all the costs going to leave headquarters just because one cop was claimed to have been gunned down? Listen, they wouldn't listen. Um, anyway, I'm not saying they aren't. They're certainly dummies. Oh, why not? They it's the writers but but but they were actually speaking and I don't want to get into it this time. by it. They had killed a cop like specifically a cop. It would have been worse for them. There would have been way worse. They already killed a cop. They staged a scene too. But it wasn't. It wasn't a real cop. Yeah, but they were still making it look like they had but that sort of distract, which was just as bad until they ID the guy. Yes. If they had it, but that's just as bad for half an hour. They see okay, so you're telling me right now that's stealing $100 million in heroin is not as bad as killing a single cop. $100 million in heroin and Shawn, here's the thing. I can't speak to a cop but I can speak to so I've been doing some research on the DEA and everything for our script I'm writing and Yeah, you got to plug yourself as a screenwriter. No, I I'm just saying this is a little tidbit. So back in the back in the 80s. And I know I'm very much glossing over things right now. But when the DEA was going after the Mexican cartel they killed one of their agents Kiki kurama After that the DA went from like, Oh guys, we can't really do much on this thing. Well, we got our hands tied behind our back to like coming in full force kicking down doors kicking ass, and just really fucked them after killing the one guy. So yeah, I dues aren't Feds though these aren't Feds, these are cops. No, I understand I get what you're saying I get what you're saying DEA or Feds? No, I get what you're saying. I'm just saying that. I don't know. I I'm not a law enforcement officer. I don't know. I would have to ask one to say what what the levels are. But I did happen to side on the criminals and the logic on that particular thing. I don't know why you what. Anyways, I had a thought though. Maybe I'm a dummy. Yeah. Thank you. But you watch this. Yeah. I had a thought watching that break. And I think that the rock Michael Bay's next bill was just a feature length adaptation of that one break and have a lot of similar. Well, you had this same break in essentially the same break and essentially, break it. It's just it takes twice as long anyways, moving ahead. I love there was something that kind of really bothered me. Yeah. When we cut to Martin Lawrence and his house the next morning with his wife, I love that he's laying in bed with her and yeah, you know, it's so not No, I want to get laid. I don't want to get laid. I love that scene. I was referring to the scene with his family that I really loved. Okay, well, I have problems with that, too. Okay, before we get there, you know, before we cross that bridge, this is gonna take forever. You're talking about everything else. Oh, yeah. Well, you're the one who put me through this. You're the one who caused my eyes to vomit. So you know, Martin Lawrence, he's in bed with his wife. He just woke up. He's wanting to get some as he does, because that's trying to do literally this entire film. And he pulls up the blanket and he and his wife look under the blanket implying that the man is fully tumor FIDE. And then not 30 seconds later, his kids run into the room and hop on top of the bed. God, I want you to ask yourself a question. Do you think there's any possibility that Martin Lawrence's character had become flaccid by the times his children jumped on top of him in bed? Because I don't think so. Why is this something you're thinking about? It's something the writers didn't think about. It's something that no one else on set apparently thought about. It would have been funny. Honestly, that would have been a really funny scene. Just a funny part if Martin Lauren's like dodge to get out of the way of his kids, so they didn't accidentally bump into his into his man, like the kid is like, Daddy, Daddy, What's that in your pocket? So jumping ahead now, by the way, it's kind of horrifying that will smith would talk about sex in front of these young children. And that Martin Lawrence and his wife would be cool for it up to a certain point, you want to tell me why Martin Lawrence starts acting like a toddler in the gym. As soon as we leave them alone, they establish like before they leave, before they leave headquarters that there's an inside man. And the first thing that came to mind when I saw that was was Martin Lawrence, the Inside Man, because he seemed like he was high on something to be behaving that way, as a full grown adult with a job and a wife and three children. And then he also struggles to lift what looks like less than 90 pounds. So you want to tell me why he did that. Why he was behaving like that. Well, Bill Smith goes off to talk to max doing exactly what he was doing. I mean, throughout the movie, he's kind of trying to prove Oh, he does nothing like this ever again. And the rest of his trying to prove his manhood and trying to prove man, he can be tough, like Will Smith's character when he clearly can't. He looked like a toddler. I thought, Jim, are you trying? Was that supposed to be impressive? No, it's not impressive. And that's the point. I thought it was hilarious. I mean, I don't think it was a standout scene, but I thought it was fine. I thought it did a job I thought again, it took a scene or Wilson with talking to max is a little bit boring. And added some nice humor too. I think that's just because Michael Bay doesn't know how to direct serious dialogue. I think all of that he cut to something else I want to actually knew how to do I won't disagree with that. But that's fine. Also, I felt like you know, steaming right ahead. Here you go. If we're we were talking earlier about scenes where there's like a small amount of contention and then they wind up you know, resolving things before the end. And it's the almost the eponymous scene where they start seeing the bad boy song Yeah, I love this it was just all unnecessary totally pointless. didn't need them singing the song It didn't feel organic at all It just felt like it was exposition talking about how Will Smith was a trust fund kid who wanted to be a cop all stuff that could have been worked in organically throughout the the entirety of the film and in fact things that we do hear about before and after a lot more subtly. I just don't know why it needs to be stated. I saw explicitly there I will give you that it's exposition. You're making a lot of concessions here with all my points. No, but I'm gonna defend this scene. Like I will give you that as exposition and I will give you that the bad boys theme song doesn't necessarily need to be there at the end. But at the same time going back to what I was saying before I loved their arguing I love that Martin Lawrence criticizes them. Will Smith gets so angry about it because he's got a chip on his shoulder about it more than Lawrence's just like, Listen, I'm sorry. We're, we're Bros. Like we're, I love you, man. We're good. And well, Smith doesn't like immediately shrug it off. He's still kind of a little pissed about it. And still mocking him like that dialogue what you're saying horror was probably improvised, but it just felt so real and so authentic. And just I loved that. I loved it. I thought it was great. It was so that's why I give you the No I did. I did not think it was inorganic. I mean, I've had those arguments with you. So no, we're not in a movie. We're not in a movie though. Our lives aren't contained to like it's not inorganic, anything. That means it is organic. So totally No, I thought that I thought that that I mean, there was a lot of scenes that I really loved. But that was another one that I loved and going with the exposition, the bet I don't love how they got there. But they don't necessarily resolve their argument because they are great friends and they don't need to but for them to go into the bad boys theme song at the end is kind of like okay, well, we're going to focus on this as people like we're not this is not something we're going to solve right now. But it's also not something that is going to totally divide us so we're just transitioning in our I guess conversation. I thought that was really great. I thought that was a nice. There was no continuity in their relationship. Either. We just randomly get into little tips network tits. What does that word is it titz ticketss tips are no no tips. Not Oh, no, it's not it's not tids it's but ti Tz or not not the other word. Not the you know, memory. Anyways, continuing on. Yeah, so what is wrong with you? Okay, can we have you know, does I mean like, okay, really on so we met we met to Leo's character, by the way finally. Okay, I can I can I make a little side note real quick. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Okay, folks, my friend Yani made the comparison that we were basically a duo and Midnight Cowboy. But I would argue that we are really Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are bad boys. Jani being the Will Smith and me being the Martin Lawrence just in personality and how we act and how we riff off of each other. I saw so much of it when I was watching like oh man. Weirdly, I can't really disagree with a bang an apartment. I don't know. Don't have a bangin apartment. No, but my parents take that. To know that. I'm keeping that in how I keep is okay whatever. Go on. Okay, so we get to to Leoni. We meet her max dies, does it's of no consequence to the film at all. She's terrible. The characters terrible she she's not even mentioned in the end when T Leoni gets her revenge or like suppose Well, I'll get to that one. crosshairs, no one cares when she dies, but tr Leoni. She's put into a very precarious situation and she tries to escape she goes up to the roof. And just as she's about to be shot from a distance, she jumps off into the pool. So this wasn't like the middle of the night. This was like maybe eight or 9pm did nobody see her jump off. And if she jumps off into the pool, even from like six storeys up, that's going to hurt you're going to be a little sore. Even with adrenaline pumping through your veins. I don't think you're going to be able to get there that quickly. But that doesn't explain why the baddies are running away or for her because we kind of just cut away from her jumping off the hotel into the pool to them assuming that she's gotten away. I mean, there were a bunch of gunshots and just fired not less than a minute ago. Like dozens of gunshots fired in a hotel. It's not soundproof, are you telling me that nobody called the cops the instant they heard a dozen gunshots going off? Okay. And are you telling me that no one tried to run down to the low to the ground level to try and pick t ot off she's on foot. She doesn't have a car. She doesn't have jack? She doesn't he probably doesn't even have her. Maybe she has her purse, so maybe she can get to a taxi. But that still doesn't explain why they don't even try to pursue her or at least show the antagonist trying to pursue her. Well, I'll say a couple things. I will give you an argument you did not make which was when teeling oni and Max walk into the hotel room. It is still daytime five minutes go by and then it's suddenly night. That is Yeah, that was Nobody maybe maybe the sun was going down. I cut out of the room of movies do that it's just stupid by to go with what you were saying about and it's a nice hotel there will be security guards. I'll give you I'll give you that too. But I will not give you the baddies not going after them. They were brazen enough to display to me finished it. I was charged firearm. I will not give you the Barry's not going after her because we really get to establish their characters later on not like a ton. But when the scene a couple scenes later when Martin Lawrence is picking to aloni off out of her apartment we established we got this a fat Italian guy, and basically all pornstache that's all called fat guy and pornstache and I love those henchmen because you add these little tidbits to them, but you really flush them out. I thought they were hilarious. So yeah, he's super curious why there were so many people with North Eastern accents in Florida. I love that made know that I was really distracted by a side note who Shay being a French guy that I'm fine with if the other henchmen had been like maybe Italian or French or like some Monogatari of a bunch of European nationalities that I would understand. But you've got the French guy and then you've got a couple guys from like Jersey and New York. And then that's it. Sign up viewers. I am from Jersey, so I do love that shit. So you can send your condolences to Shawn if you want to give them your address right now. So yeah, I really love them. Those henchmen could have so easily just been nobodies that are kind of boring, but they added a little bits to them that I thought were hilarious and great. So yeah, no, there's no reason i say otter reason you that fat guy would not have run down Let's be honest. pornstache did not care. There were more henchmen. There were more headspin that's the thing. There were just those two guy was the guy with the hat. They were perfect and perfect fitness they definitely could have run her down, especially someone who was just survived the shot falling six stories I wanted to continuing on not a great day and I want to get my lords. When Martin Lawrence picks up to Leonean her apartment. The bad guys see his license plate number and they have a connection inside the police headquarters. They could run his plates and figure out where he lives. He doesn't think of that. And apparently the screenwriters don't think of that either because he does nothing at all to protect his family living in the home that would be connected to his license plate. I'll give you that he does nothing but they certainly figure neither do they figure out well they don't Yeah, they follow him they trail okay, but the but the most that's later on that's like an hour later into the film. Okay, they don't do it. They don't do it almost immediately. It doesn't make sense. I mean, an hour I think that's like maybe a day or two into the film. There's like a 1772 hour ticking clock on this. It's like four days something like that like that, but it's later on it's something they probably should have been able to do within the night but they didn't which makes me think that these people are just incompetent not just Martin Lawrence but also the veil everyone's incompetent I don't think there's a single competent person in this entire film outside of chat I think chat door man I love this apartment is more competent Yeah, he's an idiot which is saying something you know we can talk about later but the most competent guys the captain But anyways, so why does Why does Martin Lawrence when he gets into Will Smith's apartment not know where anything is even in the dark? Are you telling me that Martin Lawrence has never been to Will Smith's apartment even when the lights were low? But Will Smith comes over to his house like every single morning? I love that scene though I thought it doesn't make sense I don't employers for six or five years he would know where all this stuff he is. I think you're making some assumptions like Will Smith is inviting him over all the time. Because I don't I can't fire him over but I think it's weird that you know you've had a partner for five or six years and he hasn't been over to your place yet. I'm sure he's been over especially if you're such close friends like they are established to be in the very beginning I might have such this tight knit bond my friend shy cuz very well, Martin Lawrence tells him he loves him, but I can very well see Will Smith being a little bit more cagey and not wanting to invite him over a ton? I will say having said that the fact that Chet knows him so well is a little like I guess I've been there quite a bit. But you know what? I don't care because I just thought that was so weird cuz you shut your brain right off. I thought it was two hours. That's how you got through it. I doubt that was that was another favorite scene where he's just like, Oh, yeah, I tripped out But I know where everything is like that was just so funny. And going off of that going off of that because In a similar vein, that pictures pictures that makes no sense. Just like is he? Is he just so self obsessed? That is Will Smith. So is his character sorry, not Will Smith. No offense, Mr. Smith, this is about your character, not you. I hope you don't mistake that but is his character in this film so self obsessed that he has pictures of literally no other person but himself hanging on the walls? doing his coffee tables, all of this? Just him? You know, I wouldn't be shy. Are we supposed to think that's funny? I think it's funny. It doesn't make me like his character anymore. No, it's true. I suppose for comedic effect. I understand. I have no photos of myself in my room or my house. So I understand. Oh, why would someone have that many photos of just themselves? But how Martin Lawrence plays it off? I just found so funny. Oh, yeah. Because he said, we get a photo of him every time he saves my life for something that was so funny. I loved it. I think I think you have to, you're taking a long trip around when you could just draw a straight line and, and not have them there at all. I thought then again, they really go out of their ways to try to make this to try to make this movie work multiple times. And this is just another case of the fact. Anyways, moving on. Why is the first thing Martin Lawrence tells Will Smith The next morning, not that T Leoni is in his apartment. Why does he wait until he's in the same room as the captain to do it? Why does he keep Will Smith so in the dark there, they'd be able to handle that situation a lot better, or at least come up with some sort of plan of like attenuating the captain's anger. I don't why is it he just waits to like drop that. Oh, by the way to God, is that your place that she thinks I'm you? oopsies? I really didn't care. You didn't care. But this is probably a good time to talk about how much you love the captain. I love the captain he the basketball scene. Oh, that great scene now? I was Yeah. Yeah. So you hate the basketball scene with the captain hate the basketball. So you know, I don't just hate it. It doesn't make any sense. It's a logical he's just apoplectic who he there's three he's in that scene. But the captain captain is just apoplectic of these two guys. Because of course, there's a ticking clock and he's running out of time. And Sinclair the walking talking female fed stereotype has given has told him that he has to play by the rules. And of course Will Smith doesn't like playing by the rules. And he's just shouting at these guys. And then at some point drops the Martin Lawrence drops the bomb that Oh, to leonis at Will Smith's apartment. And also she thinks I'm him. So I have to be him. And he has to be me. And also we're going to do a Trading Places that you're going to go pretend that you're a family man, and I'm going to pretend to be a total scuzz I love that. I it's so dumb. I it's such an unnecessary and weird change. I'm not gonna lie. It's not that it's not necessary. Sure, but I thought it was so fun. So funny. And in that scene in particular, I love that the captain was playing basketball for kind of no reason. And he kept missing. It was just like, Oh, shit. I weren't made. I was white man. I was making that before you got in here. Just like bits like that, or just, I love it. I was laughing throughout that. So I'm not going to challenge that I can believe that. You were laughing throughout that whole scene. Thank you. Thank you, Arnie. You're selling me on that? Yeah, you're selling me more than any of that movie was selling me on any of the any of the things that was going on? Yeah. So I'm curious when they go to the bar. Yeah. Or the rave the club, whatever you want to call it, the place that has tons of ether being delivered to it totally in concert. Now it's conspicuously they think it's conspicuous, but it's like the most conspicuous delivery of either you probably could do they don't even try to go around the back or the side. They're parked right in the front of the place. Yeah. But so when Martin Lawrence goes to the bathroom and the guy comes up next to him, yeah, and I think porn stash let's just call this like stash sneaking up on him with his gun and Martin Lawrence sees the reflection. The guy who's urinating next to pulls out a plastic bag and start smothering Martin Lawrence. Where did that plastic bag come from those wrapped around? How did Martin Lourdes Oh, and how did Martin Lawrence not hear it? How was he totally unaware of that? Because last I checked, cheap plastic bags tend to make a lot of noise when you're on fire. I don't understand why that's the argument you have in Kansas that scene. I think that's how did he do it? I think that there was no parterres when the two of them if you're looking down or even looking up, you still have peripheral vision. You can see somebody fumbling about with something more large focusing on other guy with the gun, not the whole time. And that's the thing, that plastic bag. It's not it wasn't just like a just not like one toss. And it's like open this it was a big plastic bag, not the thing of the senior should be fixating on. This is one of the only big complaints. Maybe just hang out. No, no, that was good. That was fine. What I had the bad guys saw everyone who came in right away. As soon as Will Smith and Martin Lawrence come in, they're so far away. And they look down and say, Oh, shit, get the car. Yeah. How do they know? It's just look their lights flashing? I know, well, there are hundreds of people in there. I can't find, you know, when you go to one of those clubs, and you can't find your friend for like a good 20 minutes. Because there's just so many people, how do you spot someone almost instantaneously walking in that you don't expect? Are you just looking through that window all the time? Do you have some kind of special binoculars or something that didn't make any sense? But that's the only the ether delivery man who had come in, if their vision is that good, they would have spotted him and then told him to move his ether delivery truck out from the front of the building, like a frickin moron. Instead of leaving it there, but also getting to the next part of the scene. What did to leonese character think she was going to do by following them there? She's an idiot. And also how did she get past? How did she get past Chet? Because chat was kind of set on her channel. Watch her Jetson idiot. Let us know he wasn't going to warn them. Cell Phone maybe we've established that he can't do anything. He tried to stop. We don't hear that she sneaks past. We don't hear don't need that. That she'll I'm sure I'm sure at some point. I'm sure the scene was she's walking out chats like hey Ma'am, ma'am, Ma'am, ma'am, I you're not supposed to go I told you not supposed to go. And she's just basically pumps off and keeps on walking. That's how I imagined the scene. But he's he's established earlier on to be some sort of tumbling block or a force that has to be jumped over to get out of there for her or for somebody to get in and go out. If you're telling me that you're going to put a wall in my way, and then tell me that I can't get around it. If I get around it, you're probably gonna want to hear how it happened. We established later on that how bad he is that that when Martin Lawrence's wife just walks on up Still, the movie has to pay some sort of attention to it. It can't just like blow it off. It says I think blows off a lot. I'm saying a good movie can't blow it off or or competent or a coherent film. I still think can't gray, something like that. But yeah, anyways, moving on. So this was a huge thing for me to leonese character, the whole reason she's being put in witness protection is so she can identify the bad guys. Right? Well, she's not putting in witness protection. But sure she's a protected witness. Yeah. However you want to phrase it, she's a witness who's being protected by them. And she's not shipped out to you know, bumfuck. Okay, so after she identifies the bad guys, for Will Smith and Martin Lords after she served her major part in solving their crime. Why is she not just dumped off on somebody else? And why does she follow them around for the rest of the movie? Don't you think it would be a little bit safer just to keep her with literally anyone else on the force than to take her into literally the most dangerous situations for her wherein she's within hundreds to sometimes only a few feet of close proximity to gun and strange. Is it really better to endanger their only witness by bringing her within close proximity of gun exchange? I mean, what actual purpose does she serve to the narrative at that point? Tell me, I'm sure. Yeah, she does. Yes, yeah. That's a third of your plot. A third of your major characters is just pointless for about half of the film. When I figured out why I figured out why you know why? It's so she's really easy to capture at some point later on. Yeah, like almost amazingly easy. Yeah. And you know what she does? That's, that's the other thing that kind of frustrates me. I mentioned how foo Shea called in to gloat about how he what he how he killed one of his own name. Later on in the movie, he calls, he calls police headquarters with a phone that can be traced, and he says, oh, guess what? I just killed one of my scientists and your witnesses next. If you try to do anything, why does it he just kill her? Why does it he just kill her right then and there. She's the only thing that can the only person the single force that could identify him as the criminal. Why does he not just kill her and get her out of the way That seems like the most expeditious way of tying up that loose and you know, because the movie has to happen. The movie has to she has to that's the one thing she does. In the climax. There was literally one thing she does, she unlocks her handcuffs, and she drives the car into a bunch of ether. That doesn't really kill that many people. That's the one big she does in the last third of that film. Aside from getting captured, yeah, sure. Now we're gonna move on to directing slash cinematography, slash editing Yani. What are you thoughts on the Michael Bay debut? magnum opus? Well, you know what I liked? I liked the debut better when it was just the nine minute meatloaf music video for I would do anything for love. But I won't do that. Yeah, I think you get everything you want. All the same, all the same beats, all the same drama, the romance, all of that Michael Bay isms, sweeping camera movements, fast editing, explosions, cars, or vehicles. I think it's a motorcycle. In the case of the meatloaf music video, you get all of that, and it's only nine minutes. So it's definitely a Michael Bay film, he definitely had a lot of room to grow, he doesn't appear to really understand his sorry. He doesn't really seem to comprehend his screenplays any better in 2020, then he did back in 1995. But the actions are almost always well composed, you know, for how much I dislike Michael Bay's work. And I dislike his films. The action always, almost always keeps me on. Keeps me in Thrall. Yeah. Even if it doesn't make sense. So that's, that's the one like one of two compliments I can pay to this film is that Michael Bay plays to his strengths. And then you know, you have like the chemistry but between Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, but directing, I can't hate on him too much. This is his style. I wouldn't venture to call him an auteur. But when somebody says, Oh, it's on Michael Bay film, you know what they're talking. One thing I will definitely give him credit for is I'm a big action comedy fan. But I often find that movies tend to veer one way or another. And if they are kind of unsure of which direction they are, they kind of mess it up. So there are a lot of movies that really are more comedies that get shot more dramatically or more action wise, that just do not work. Because they weren't shot correctly. They, they they took themselves too seriously. And they undercut in the script. In other elements just undercut. It's just undercut, oh, they just they took something that could have been good. And based off of the directing, cutting, editing and shooting, it kind of just messed it up. Or Michael Bay manages to do a best of both worlds, where he really highlights and complements the comedy, but it's not shot like a comedy it's still very much shot. Like an action movie. It's still very much shot like a 90s Jerry Bruckheimer film, so in that regard, I think it's just such a great blending of the two that I so rarely see done well. So that I loved I understand what you were saying before about cutting too much. I did not feel that but I do admit that it's a thing that he does a ton. Yeah, but I really liked the action. I really like the editing. I liked the directing. I really did not have too many issues with it. I do think that Michael Bay has definitely gotten better as a director of action not to get into it a ton but I I watched six underground like two months ago and I felt like the action there he's just been learning a lot he's been getting a lot better and the action and that was just fantastic. But in here I really only felt like the I mean, the foot Chase was really strong. In the ending shoot out was great. I love when I can't remember which character did it but the character that shot the plane the plane blew up and then the bad guy flew out on fire like the corpse flew out. That was so great. I love that so gratuitous but it's but it's little things like that. Were and this is a little tidbit, but it's things like that, that really help the action where other movies to give you an example that really bugged me. Mission Possible, I think is Rogue Nation where Tom Cruise is fighting with a bad guy during an opera scene. And the kind of a similar thing happens where Tom Cruise either punches the guy or pushes a guy off a ledge, and the guy falls on to, I don't know, something that pierces him something sharp. And there is a cutaway right after the guy falls. And because we don't get that because we we cut, right as it's happening, it just does not work as well. It's just, we need that moment when there's when you're doing action, one of the more important things is the screams and the sound effects and everything. You can think that's a minor element to it. But it's actually what really adds to it or Jackie Chan doing. Like he'll do like a double punch. It's all these little elements that really highlight and add to the action. And Michael Bay understands that or where I feel like a lot of other directors do not and I felt like while not as good as some of his other stuff. This movie really understood that. I'll just end by saying I think any Michael Bay film is going to go down like a like a Pappy Van Winkle 23 mix with Walmart brand cola. Yeah. All right. It's like a mix of something really good with unapologetic crap. Okay, cool. Thanks, Johnny. Yeah. So cinematography, what did you think of the cinematography? Honey, I have some notes. I thought it was it was good. For the most part. That's the thing that Michael Bay Yeah, that's the thing about Michael Bay films, the cinematography, you can't ever say it's objectively bad. In fact, most people wouldn't like good job. Most people would say it's pretty good. The one problem I have? Well, it's not really a problem. You know, actually, maybe I love this. It's just I love it, when what I'm seeing on screen strikes out at me with the peak and vibrancy of a pan of jello. And then I also love it when that color only shows up for the first 20 minutes and then is abruptly forgotten for the remainder of the run time I talk about the I'm talking about the orange opening that never comes back. That is a huge inconsistency. I just want an explanation. I will agree I'm a little sad that the orange didn't come back because I loved the orange. But I thought it looked good. I mean, you may disagree. One thing that really struck me so you're being sarcastic back there, I'm being sarcastic about the most recent part, the rest of the film looked good. It's just the first 20 minutes didn't make any any sense. I what really struck me was when the I know that is one bit, but when the robbers are breaking in, and they're welding through something or other, I just seen the sparks fly. Michael Bay really got a great shot of that. I'm like, oh, man, you're getting great shots or something that doesn't even matter. Yeah, that's cool. It's superfluids. I guess that's a lot of Michael bass. cinematic graphical style. Totally. So he's a commercial music video director, so it makes sense. I liked it a lot. I thought he did a really good job. It was. Far as cinematography goes, Yeah, no, that settlement ographers. Perfectly competent, is definitely a freshman effort. Yeah, no, he's definitely improved. Getting on to editing. Now. Like I said before, I think that this movie was in some parts edited just within an inch of its life. As I said before, the first three minutes had 84 cuts in them alone, I shudder to think of sitting through the whole experience and counting the total number of cuts. It's probably in the, you know, hundreds of 1000s hundreds. And then Max Fury Road had like 3000, right. So it's got to be somewhere around there. But the editing was very inconsistent. I mean, there were times where they were cutting away from characters and dialogue where they should have definitely stayed on them. I'll use that first scene, that first argument as an example there are definitely parts where they should have just like, either used a hole like not a hole, but use like a Have a two shot instead of a single to cover more ground, because it jumped around really radically and kind of disrupted the flow of the scene. But then again, there were times where it wasn't like that at all. And I'm just curious why that was but a few instances that really either held up the action or were just a total fall and intention. In particular, was Max's death scene, the scene where Max is shot by foosh Shea's men, and it's covered in like four or five different shots. And it's one action, it's her getting shot and then falling into a coffee table. But you see, like, close up on the gun, wide of her close up on her she falls through underneath you see the glass and her falling through then a closeup of an eye for some reason. And I think there's like, I think the colors are inverted at one point to do I remember that. And I just remember thinking, wow, I don't care about this character at all. This is the one moment I'm supposed to care about the character who's dying. And I don't know. And thematically it comes back. At one point to Leonia is like I think she's thinking about vengeance or something. And then that shot of the AI comes back. And maybe it's another inverted color scheme of I don't know what. But it totally detracts from the moment. And it feels like you know, maybe if there had been another editor on this film, my feelings, at least towards the pace, and character even might be different. I think I far as far as pace I do think the movie could have lost like 10 minutes and been fine. But that's about it. I had I honestly was not distracted by the editing. I mean, what you're talking about right now, as far as the max being shot, I think that's much more a flaw with the character and the script and everything, as opposed to the editing, the editing was trying to make up for it. But if you can cover a character's death in one single shot, and they could be a totally minor character, but as long as the time is handled, and I talked about this last time, as long as time is handled, like its grave and important, it will matter to the viewer. And if you treat her death as something that can occur very abruptly, instantly, and has prolonged effects within a shot. If it if it emanates, after its occurred, it will be grave to the viewer. But if you're just seeing somebody his reaction to it or cutting instantly, to somebodies reaction of it, that character doesn't matter anymore. Max could have mattered, we met her beforehand. That's the thing we met her. And I honestly thought as somebody who never seen it, that there was a possibility that she would have been. In the rest of it. Granted, I saw to leonese name first in the cast of in the cast of characters. So it it figured that she would be the more important female character. But that's the other problem. And we can actually use this as a jumping off point to getting into character. Before I do that, though, I'd like to say that there was one shot in the police in the police headquarters, where the where Martin Lawrence is sitting and he's talking on the phone, and the captain walks in the frame. But you don't see all of the captain. It's just a medium. A Martin Lord so you see it from the waist up to the top of the head. And the captain's crotch comes in. And you see nothing. It takes up the majority of the frame for about five seconds before we cut to his face. And it's there's a lot of attention paid to it. If the crotch was the master of that shot, not Martin Lawrence. It was just a really weird choice. It was a really strange option to me. Because there was I don't remember anything big said either. That's the thing. I don't remember what the character was saying. I just remember that Martin Laird Lawrence was in the shot and then there was a lot of crotch. The captain was like Hey, you got to you got to pretend to be Mike, you got to be Mike. I only remember crotch that's all I can remember. I remember the color pants to moving on. jumping off into using MAC's as a jumping off point to get into character and specifically, Will Smith's character. There are just a bunch of small details that are set up early on to be resolved. Later on the film, character flaws you know small points of contention between him and more Martin Lawrence insecurity of insecurities of his own. The fact that he's a trust fund kid who wants to work as a cop. The fact that he keeps on kill it they're like all they're always like these dead bodies, they're always corpses that follow any sort of investigation of his he kills too many people. The fact that he's a very loose person, and he'll sleep with damn near anything that has, has a pulse. These are all huge character flaws that aren't addressed. And for that reason, neither resolved later on in the film. Yeah. And they could have done so much more with that. Yet they didn't do anything with it. And it felt like at one point, because they because the captain and because Martin Lawrence's characters kept on broaching the fact, of the of Will Smith's body count, I thought that like maybe he was going to have like, sorry, got the fact that Martin Lawrence's character, and the captain kept on broaching the fact of Will Smith's body count, I thought that he was going to have this arc where he was going to learn that maybe it's best, you know, not to kill, not to shoot, just to like, ease off. And I don't know, like maybe learn that. Human life has value, whatever it is, I just wanted something. And they almost did it. They almost did it. At the end. He almost didn't kill food, Shea. He just shoots him in the leg and they goes up and he's like, he wants to kill him. You know, he's he's holding the gun up to shave his head and fushia is like telling him to do it to do it. And then Martin Lawrence is like, Nah, man, he ain't worth it. So it will smith backs off and then the movies like now forget about it. Fuu Shay pulls up a gun. And then Will Smith just unloads his clip, nine shots. He Jacks the magazine puts another one in there fires nine more shots into him. That clip puts a third but you get my point. He doesn't have any arc as a character though. One thing he has, is that he he didn't want to say I love you to Martin Lawrence Martin Lawrence's character early on the film. And he does it. And that's not enough for me because he doesn't grow as a person. I know that he loves Martin Lawrence's character throughout the whole film him just stating it outright. Does it mean that he's grown as a human being? He's in Sure. Hi, early static. Sure. I assume he's gonna in the next movie. He's just as much of a slot. Yeah, well, I mean, I, I point you didn't necessarily make that kind of, I don't wanna say annoyed me. But watching it again, I definitely noticed was you're talking about how slow he is and how much of a killer he is. But he also just doesn't do that at times. If anything. Martin Lawrence is the one that no it's more Martin Lawrence's film. Yeah. Martin Lawrence kills more people within the scope of the movie. And it's funny, I don't know if he did any research or looked into it a bit more. And Laurent Martin Lauren's was the one that started with a movie. So he was kind of the lead. And then he brought wall Smith into it because he was the bigger actor at the time. So it's kind of funny to see scenes that I think would traditionally go to Will Smith. But Martin Lawrence got them for one reason or another. So like that bathroom fight? Normally, I would say it would be reversed it would be well Smith get into the fight. Well, it's a different, totally different wouldn't be as humorous Martin Lawrence for how weird and off kilter and just downright nonsensical at some points in this film. He's still the way funnier of the two and there were like, times that I thought, okay, you know, I can see how this is like, a genuinely funny scene. Funny shot, funny line. It's, it's interesting seeing that balance between the two where he's the comedic relief, but he is also he is also like, I know they're co leads. But it's it's much more CO Ed than you would normally see. You know, well, Lawrence is the only one that the script actually Martin Lawrence is the only one whose personal live receives any sort of do in the script. And even then, he doesn't really have an arc that's big problem with Will Smith's character is that we don't what we do learn about his personal life is very surface level. And even then, we don't do anything with it. We don't do much with Martin Lord. It says anyways, but at least we learn more about it. Yeah. Yeah, sure. And I will say, with the sequels, we definitely learn more about both those characters, particularly the third one, we learn a lot more about Will Smith's character. I don't know if that's for the better, though. I still think bad. The first one is easily the best one, in my opinion. But, you know, I I like those characters. I love their dynamic. And while I agree that they don't grow a ton, Part Part of me feels like they don't need to, Will Smith's character 100% needs to Martin Lawrence, maybe not his whole thing. He's got a wife and kids a family. He cares about them. That's obvious. He just wants to get me. It's one of those. It's one of those, like TV arguments where you want the characters to learn a lesson, but you don't want them to change entirely. Because you want to see them next week. You want to see them doing their shtick next week. And well, it's not like TV, this is a completely different medium, they didn't understand, I understand what you're saying. But it's one of the reasons for example, on the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, I don't really want to see jack Sparrow grow or change. But he does I want he does in every single film, he changes a little bit. Sometimes it's a regression, but in the first movie, there's changes a little bit. But it's one of those things where he still more or less, the sidekick, the comic relief. So when they made him the lead, it did not work. Because we don't want to see him saddled with the responsibilities of being a lead character. We want to see him just do his thing. Now, with bad boys, I understand their co lead. So it's a bit more complicated. But I just I did not feel like I need the opportunities were dying. You're saying there was definitely opportunity that could have been there? No, no, not even not even could have been there like it existed. The space was there, it would not have extended the runtime at all. They could have just made different choices that wouldn't really have changed the entire structure of the film. But what have improved his character so monumentally Yeah, sure. They could have done that. They showed up. But they didn't and I I wasn't particularly bothered by it by understand why you were now a there anything. Is there anything else you want to say about those two characters? Or do you want to move on to other characters? Let's move on to other characters. All right. So let's talk about my boy, the captain. I think his name was Captain Howard or something like that. Tony liano he's, he's the captain. That's all I'm gonna call. He is great. I loved every single scene he was in. I mean, he was just chewing the scenery. And he, he took wines that I liked the lines as they were but he just made them so good. He He is probably one of my favorite. He's one of my favorite. Yelling over acting captains in cop movies, uses so much fun. He's great. And I disagree. I think he doesn't do anything different from any other screaming cat cut. Sorry. I don't think he does anything any different from any other screaming Captain chief character from any other film I've ever seen. I just think the difference is that it's it's Joe instead of someone else. I don't think he does anything that's drastically different from the other ones. I am more so just think he was. So well cast in the wall. That it just fits like a glove. You know, it just fits so well on him. And his dynamic between the duo is just it's just really good. It's really strong. And yeah, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I don't think he's a bad character at all, but he's definitely not my favorite. He's definitely not my least favorite. He doesn't stand up. He's just kind of in the middle. You know? He's like, he's, he's, he's like, the lettuce on a sandwich. I could go with no I could go without it's not. Lettuce. You've got you know, what are we talking about? What kind of sandwich we talking about? We're talking about Will Smith Martin Lawrence bread? No. And then you've got the sandwich chalian sandwich. Well no, I'm getting to the meats in the cheeses right now. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are your bread they encase the sandwich they keep it they hold it together. So you're saying the two black guys are the white bread? Well, it could be Poprad a kudos. God that you got to Leoni. It's a chicken sandwich. I was about that to Leona's. Here's a nice chicken fillet grilled lettuce. Are you kidding? No, she's, she's the meat not the lettuce. She's the lettuce. She's the captain is the lettuce. And I'm sorry, who Shea is food Shea is the Roquefort cheese. That's what makes this a very odd and not necessarily appealing sandwich. But it definitely distinguished itself because it's got Roquefort cheese, lettuce, and then a chicken breast filet, and then pumpernickel bread. It's not a good sandwich. I don't think anyone in their right mind would actually like this sandwich, but it's definitely not unique. Okay, I listen. Hello, Smith. Mr. Lawrence. Sure are the bread on either side. Tea Leoni is definitely the lettuce I think she does a decent job but I'm not seeing the movie for her. Well the thing is the movies built around her She is like she is not necessarily you're not just gonna hold on you're not No no, no, no, no, I'm not saying to God as the actress I'm saying as the character her character is the central point. She's the one thing that holds everything that that holds all the threads together here. Here's what I'll say the captain is so that's why she's the you don't just eat a chicken. You don't just have a grilled chicken fillet you eat it with your hands. No, you need the lettuce you need the Roquefort cheese you need the 1000 Island dressing that's been sitting in the back of your dressing. The captain is the dressing on the sauce like whatever dressing or sauce you really like. It's not like a big thing. But you know it changes a sandwich from decent to really good. Like you just need a little bit you need a little bit that mustard or a little bit that 1000 Islands and you go oh my god that made my sandwich. That's what he is. No, yes. Either way it's even if he is even if he is then you've got you've got food Shea is the lettuce. You've still got to Leoni as the white chicken breast fillet she's not the chicken she is she is is built around her so to me she is the meat whether you like it or not to Leoni is the meat in this will she's she's the tomato I don't like tomato. She's a tomato. Okay, okay, so how about this if Martin Lawrence and Will Smith are still the bread and you've got the captain is the 1000 Island dressing that's sitting in the back of your fridge for the last four weeks and then to llyod to llyod is the lettuce and you've got food Shea is the Roquefort cheese. What's the meat? The meat is Michael Bay da no, yes, no, I don't make a sandwich. You don't make a sandwich out of your own hand. You don't put your hand in the sandwich in my collection. To know he's the man making it go he's the main thing he's making you sound stupid. It's clear. Let's move on. Oh, god dammit Sinclair is awful. She's generic is I need to talk we're not talking about Sinclair, we're talking about Michael Bay. We're already I already established that you're wrong. Anybody who's listening right now they will know that you are wrong. They will point to the issues and your argument and they will say this Shawn guy is no no dumb fuck you. Sinclair is like that extra ingredient that you don't really need and sometimes you order without it. So you can add and it's a low Okay, like a pepper or something. I don't really need this. If I add it, it's a little bit better but I can tell Sinclair's she's the laxative that somebody sneaked into your sandwich. Fucking laksa. Yes, she is the reason you don't have a long time to eat it because as soon as you do you start a ticking clock and that's exactly what Sinclair does. He establishes the ticking clock at the very beginning. Sink clear, does almost nothing. She's kind of pointless. But I do kind of love it. Because she's just that generic element. I mean, the the once she gets established where Martin Lawrence says something like, this is fucked up. And she comes in and says, God damn right, or something like that. And then she just every time I love it, it's so perfect. She has a line. She has a line that literally goes I told you to play by the rules. That's do you put that in a satire in a parody? You don't put that in an actual movie. I thought it was good. I I'm not gonna defend Sinclair. Obviously you can't defend Captain either. He just just let us I'm defending the fucking cadres a sauce as my 1000 Islands mustard. I don't think you could use any of this. You're peeking. You're peeking on all your audio. Who cares? You want somebody to listen to this. You're gonna have to cut out a lot. This one's long already. I just turned it down. I'll just turn it down. It doesn't matter. You can cut out a fair amount of like my problems with the story. Yeah, no, I'll cut that this month all of it that this sandwich thing is going in there. Okay, we need to move on though most hated love scenes, characters moments, etc. What do you like? Most Hated most love that we we can move on? We were a talk. Okay, well, I'm gonna go down my list of things. A shiny deck with chairs line is just stupid. Like I can't Well, let's let Okay. Let me just preface it first, if we're going to do it, okay. Yani. So any scenes you particularly love, because I know you love this movie. Any scenes you particularly didn't care for, which I know are few, right? Yeah, there's only a couple scenes you don't like. So what do you think? And I think that shiny decla chairs line is just stupid. And I can't tell if it's the stupid script or Martin Lawrence doing stupid improvisation. Okay, also, I think it's a little odd here. And maybe not entirely super progressive or totally counterintuitive, but it's kind of weird that the two black leads only care about sex in their free time. I mean, they're guys. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a little weird to me. Okay, whatever feels like it could be a little inappropriate by today's standards. It's not great. But I will say and this is you have not seen bad boys to everything that bad boys one is, it's like, times 11 and bad boys too. So every element that you think is a bit sexist. A bit inappropriate a bit racist. is late this movie is. I'm not gonna say it's not. But it is really tame compared to bad boys to like, for example, that corpse scene that you will like, Oh, that's disrespectful. There is a scene in bad boys to a chase scene on the highway, where corpses are being dumped like from a mortuary What was it called? Is that was called a mortuary? Sure, yeah. So there's a scene where bodies from Mordor are being dumped on a highway during a car chase, and they're running over the bar. It is disgusting. It's terrifying. It's really bad. Like, that's why I don't I didn't pick that movie. And honestly, I'm not a ton. I'm not a big fan of that movie. Because that cuz there's a good 20 minute chunk. And it's a big plot point of this mortuary and they were corpses and everything. That's just, it goes too far. And I was also eating lunch when I was watching that and I just had to turn it off. I'm like, Martin Lawrence has his hand stuck up a guy's chest. I was like, I might not do this right now. No, I'm not watching that. Yeah, I'm not gonna ask you to can't say I have a lot of favorite parts. I'd say like my one favorite best part was anytime t Leoni was on screen. I would mute the TV and then rewind and watch it again. Just so I could look at her because she was very attractive woman in the 90s. She's very attractive now to know she's, she's pretty. And that was kind of all her character existed to do was just be pretty. So anyways, final thoughts. Final Thoughts? Final Thoughts? You know, like I said, I've seen it before. I saw it again. And I will continue to watch it throughout the years. I just enjoy the hell of it. Yeah. Yani What are your final thoughts? You know what? If someone told me that they had a grilled chicken breasts, lettuce, Roquefort cheese, and old 1000 Island dressing sandwich, made on pumpernickel bread. Ready for me, and they asked me if I wanted to take a bite. I'd say it If I did, I, I wouldn't know what I was expecting. So I that's exactly how I feel about bad boys. I know what I was expecting. Okay, so I'm not too upset. I didn't like it. I wasn't crazy about it. But it could have been worse. Okay, it could have been worse. Okay, well, you piece of shit. At a 10 What would you give it? Maybe five if I'm being generous, but probably closer to a four. Okay, cool, you know? Not unexpected. All right, any other last thoughts? Any last opinions? You want to give? Or? You feel good? Um, well, I had to I had to shower. Immediately after I finished watching this film. I felt good Ben. Oh my god. Anytime I'm not watching bad boys. I think I feel pretty good. Geez. Wow. Will Smith Eat your heart out? I'm sorry that some people can't appreciate you, Martin Lawrence. I'm gonna be honest, the Martin Lawrence. I did not think you had it into you. In TV. Now I'm going to say, Martin Lawrence. I'm going to be honest, I didn't think you had it in you. But then watching this movie, I thought, you know what, you're great. And you want bad boys for life is a pretty good movie, too. So I am very happy. I thought. And like another thing I want to say. I don't think I briefly talked about it before. But what you're saying about the characters? Are the actors improving. I very much felt like the characters were variations of the people playing them, which I think strengthen them and made them just really fun to watch. So yeah, I love this movie. Well, I don't want to I love that I really enjoy this movie. Yeah, you know what, you've got a good point. And and just like an improvisation there are different levels, you have level zero, where you where you have no introduction whatsoever to it. And that's where you wind up playing characters that are very resemblance of yourself. And then once you improve and you've had more experience, you jump up the levels and I don't know whatever the top level is, but that's not this. I'd say bad boys is a it's a level zero improv. Great. Okay, cool. Well, that's it for bad boys. Thank you, listeners for tuning into this spectacular review of the same age as bad boys. All right, week. Next week. I don't know what the movie is. Johnny, do you want me to tell you? You want you want? Jani? Do you want to say what we will be watching next week? I don't know. I'm think I'm gonna make it a surprise for you. You got to tell me we got to start. We got to start watching it. Well, the thing is, remember, this was this isn't going to be number two. This is going to be number four. The one we're doing right now. I know. But I still want to capture something. So do you want this? Do you want this to be the third thing of mine that we watch? Then? These endings? We can go between? I can take an ending and then okay. So Jani? What will we be watching next week? Well, Shawn, I'm thinking that we're going to watch 2019 Cold War a powerful public housekeys black and white, cold war drama, which received, I think, three or four Oscar nominations in 2019. Not that it matters. But it's a fantastic film. And for that reason, I'm pretty sure you would dislike it. Yeah, I remember when it came out. And I said to myself, I'm definitely not going to like this movie. And just then watch it. It's one of my favorite films of the last decade, so I'm sure we're gonna have a good time discussing it. I can't wait to be miserable. Thank you so much, Johnny. Thank you for watching bad boys. Thank you so much for watching bad boys. And thank you listeners for tuning in. Until next week, this is fuck your opinion. Fuck you. Fuck you Yani. And fuck you, Sean. All right, cool, but that was good. That was good. Yeah, you're gonna you have your work cut out. Oh. Buddy beep boop boop boop Badu Pamela Moo peppery Believe it or whatever. But even even berryville Avenue but very popular. But everybody should use that as the opening song. It's free form. Some might call it scat. I don't know if I would qualify that as jazz but it's it's definitely something. Here I'll give you another one. They better be bat bat bat, bat bat badoo badoo badoo badoo badoo Wood Avenue bap bap, bap, bap and even even Avenue bap boop. Hope you call me back